The Princess of Hellsing
by ThroughtheShadows
Summary: Integra and Alucard have a wonderful daughter, Mina. But alot of things can happen when the five-year-old meets Anderson... and gives away an embarassing secret of Alucard's! Title has been changed.
1. Chapter 1 The Paladin learns a secret

Alucard never realized the changes his former master Arthur went through when he had a daughter... until Alucard had one of his own. The intial shock when Integra told him, Walter, and Seras that she was pregnant had been rather unpleasant - as well as the bump on his head from passing out and hitting the floor - and the nine months had been excruciating. Coming up with a name that both he and Integra agreed on had been both amusing and frustrating. Not to mention the delivery had revealed to Alucard as to how deep his connection with his master really ran - he finally knew what women meant when they said that delivery was equalivelent to pulling your bottom lip over your head. But when he saw Wilhelmina Fairbrook Alric Hellsing for the first time, he understood why Arthur had sobered up so quickly, why fathers were more protective of their daughters than their sons.

All the reasons for those little but important changes became more and more clear to him, as the last five years had flew by. He had became no exception to treating Mina as his little princess. And a princess she was. Her father use to be the king of Wallachia, now the No-Life King, and her mother, Sir Integra, was not only a knight of the Round Table but born from a family whose ancestery revealed an almost royal line of vampire hunters. The fact that practically everyone in the Hellsing estate doted on her only proved further of her nobility.

She was the perfect representative of both her mother and her father. She was sharp-witted for her age, with the Hellsing blue eyes with tiny flecks of the tawny color his own eyes had once been centuries ago, her father's ebony locks as well as his deviant grin and... well, his sadistic tendencies. She had inheirted her mother's stubborn will, fierce anger, plus the same willowy frame and a reflection of her face. To top it off, she was quickly learning to carry an air of authority that only her bloodline could pull off, and the sense of pride and duty that came with being a Hellsing. It was uncertain whether her subtley manipulative nature towards Alucard came from watching the tiny cues of Integra, or if she naturally had a gift of wrapping her father around her little finger. Nonetheless, it was amazing the things she could make the noble vampire do.

Alucard shook his head at how easily manipulated he was by such a small individual. ' I shouldn't have brought her along,' he thought, firing down a few more ghouls as Mina prodded the remains of one behind him with a finger. He looked back long enough to giver her a glance and a grin. " Don't pole it too much or it'll ooze all over you." She blinked at him then poked the object of interest again. He just chuckled.

Most recently, Integra had been swamped with paperwork, making it difficult to spend time with her little girl. So she ordered Alucard to take her along on a mission to decimate few ghouls and a weak Freak, bringing her back without any bodily harm of course. It was pretty safe... and therefore boring for the maniacal vampire. He sighed and was about to put the Casull away... when he heard a certain voice.

" Well if it isn't Alucard, the Hellsing family dog."

' Yes! Something to liven up the evening!,' Alucard thought, grinning at Anderson at the other end of the hall. " Long time since we saw each other last, Anderson," he drawled. He tightened his grip on the Casull and drew out the Jackal as well. " Don't tell me - you already took out the trash."

" Aye.. except for you!," Anderson crowed, quickly drawing out two ling bayonets as Alucard aimed for his head. For a breif second they grinned maniacally at each other. The vampire was about to pull the trigger when Anderson's grin faltered. Alucard scowled. Anderson blinked, eyebrows knit and looked down, left, right, then lifted his arm to look a little behind him. Alucard almost slapped his forehead - Mina was tugging on the priests coat.

She looked up at the towering and confused paladin, her eyes wide with curiosity. Anderson's scowl was replaced with a confused look and a small sweatdrop. She gave him a tiny smile, playing with the hem of the cream-colored blouse she wore. " Hi," she said.

Anderson raised an eyebrow. " Uuuuhhh... Hello..."

"Are you the Judas Daddy talks about"

Alucard shook his head with one hand before his eyes, and the guns stowed away. "Mina...," he muttered. Anderson's sweatdrop grew. He gave Alucard a glance then back at the little girl at his side, peering up at him from under his arm. She didn't even seem to notice the bayonets. Anderson scratched his head, then flipped hte bayonets. This drew the vampires attention, who instantly tensed, letting out a snarl that the girl didn't catch.' Judas,' he growled menacingly in the paladin's head.

' Aye ain't gonna harm her,' the palading thought back, locking eyes with him as he stabbed the blades into the wall away from Mina. The paladin finally broke eye contact and kneeled down in front of Mina, giving her a smile reserved for the children back at the orphanage. " Aye might be," he answered her. "My names Alexander. And yours" Alucard, still a bit edgy, watched the scene with a keen eye, leaning against the wall. Just close enough to pounce if nedd be...

Mina stood up tall as her height would allow, pulling her shoulders back with as much seriousness as her cuteness would allow. " Miss Wilhelmina Fairbrook Alric Hellsing," she claimed in a tone similar to her mother's - just no where near as intimidating. Anderson chuckled, seeing the girl's influence immediately. " Can I call you Alex," she asked giving up the mask of a grown-up. "You can call me Mina."

" Aye don't mind. Nice to meet you, Lil' Mina." Making sure the vampire looming about him permitted it, he carefully gaver her hand a little shake.

' Tread lightly, Judas.'

' I'm not that cruel!!,' Anderson barked back in his head. ' Aye don't harm children.'

" Miss Mina," she pressed with a pout. She slugged the paladin on the shoulder unexpectedly, making him jump in surprise. " And don't forget it," she huffed, folding her arms over her chest.

"Oy, you've got a hardy swing for you size," he mumbled, rubbing the spot where her fist had been. Alucard couldn't help but chuckle.

"Yes, she does. Our butler learned the hard way just last week. His monocle hasn't quiet been straight since," Alucard drawled amusedly.

" Are you really a priest"

" Aye.'

" So do you really fight Daddy" The paladin nodded. "Why"

Alexander rubbed the back of his head. " Cuz - we tend to - disagree on things."

"Like what"

" Like whether my head can grow back faster than his," her father chimed in. Alexander quirked an eyebrow at the vampire, at which Alucard just smirked back.

" So you can heal like Daddy does"

" Uuuuhhh... Sort of ..."

" Oh." She played with the hem of her blouse again, an innocent and even more curious look dawning on her face. " What about turning shapes" Her eyes got all big and wide.

" Huh"

"Can you turn into a big, giant, black, cuddly, teddy bear, too Like Daddy," she asked, holding up her arms to the sky to demonstrate the 'teddy bear's' size. Alucard suddenly went rigid, and looked as if her was struck by lightening.

" A teddy bear, eh," Anderson leered, turning a sly and mischeivious look at the No-Life King, who was trying to keep a humongous sweatdrop from flooding the hall.

"I think you need to get to bed," Alucard said very quickly, swooping up the naive girl into his arms and onto his shoulders.

"But I'm not - "

" You're going to bed," Alucard said firmly but softly. He passed the paladin with a nod. " Another time, Judas." And he walked down the hall.

" Another time..." A pause. "... Teddy bear." Alucard stiffened, growled, then mumbled quiet curses under his breath in every language he knew, as Anderson began to laugh his ass off.

" Let's hurry and get home," the embarassed vampire mumbled.


	2. Chapter 2 I guess I could do that

**Author's Note - **Okay guy's, this is the prequel chapter so to speak to The Princess of Hellsing and the Paladin Meet. I guess I should have thought about doing this one before I had Mina spill the beans to Anderson. This will explain why the great ferocious Alucard turned into a teddy bear. Thank you so much for the reviews. I'll probably drop this one after this chapter and work on my other Hellsing fics, like Walter's Prison if I get enough reviews. If you want me to put in a few more chapters for this humorous series just let me know, and I'll see what I can come up with. Now to the disclaimer - **I do not own Hellsing or any of the other characters within this fic. All characters belong to their rightful owners. **If I did own any of them, you would never see sexy Alucard again!(Runs away cackling.)

'Why couldn't Integra have stayed home,' Alucard thought irritatedly as the knocking on his coffin woke him from his sleep. He grumbled something under his breath about stupid french business partners, then opened the lid just an inch or two. His red eye, which glowed in an angry manner, flitted about for a moment before it landed on a tiny figure standing within arms reach. The little girl's face hid behind the dark curtain of her hair, but the tiny nervous blush on her cheeks was still visible in the darkness. One tiny fingernail picked at the corner of her lip as the other hand clung to a old hand-me-down teddy bear. She almost seemed to drown in the ankle-length blue nightgown. " What's wrong," the vampire mumbled out of the peek hole, trying to keep the irritation out of his groggy voice.

"Uumm... I... the booming noise... it-" A crackling blot of lightening lit up Integra's room for an instance, and a large, rolling wave of thunder stopped her in midsentence. She gave out a little mouse-like squeak as she jumped, then began to pant as the darkness came back to cover the room. Alucard refrained from rolling his eyes and sat up with a grunt, slowly throwing back the lid. This had been the second time this evening that the summer storm had frightened the latest heir to the Hellsing family - and therefore interrupted the No-Life King's much needed nap. Of course, if he hadn't been so nosy and followed Integra as far as the gateway to the plane to Paris - in the middle of the day mind you - he probably wouldn't need the nap in the first place...

He softly smoothed Mina's hair out of her face with a gloved hand and sighed. Her eyes were just faintly moist with embarrassment and panic,as she looked up at him in an apologetic manner. " It's just a storm. It's trying to make itself seem bigger by making alot of noise. It can't hurt you here." The five-year-old bit her bottom lip and nodded slightly. " I know your mother isn't here, but she had to take care of something important in Paris. You remember where I showed you where Paris was on the globe," he asked looking her in the eyes. She nodded again, and softly replied," Far away."

" No, shes not too far away. She can be here in a snap if she wants to. And she can't wait to see you when she comes home tomorrow, I know that much. Now crawl back in bed. Daddy still has a couple more hours before he can check with Walter and... whatnot..." Mina gave his fingers a quick squeeze, mummured "okay", and scampered back the smaller bed between his coffin and Integra's four poster bed. The vampire sighed as his little girl snuck under her covers and he fell back into his own satin sheets. With the lid lazily returned to its place, he shifted into a comfortable position and began to doze off... The beginning of dreams with blood and battles and gunshots... and delicious terrified screams... Dreams of Integra and the first time she had invited him to her room...

There was another shockwave of thunder and he grumbled in his sleep when a tiny whimper permeated his nap. The minutes passed by... ten... twenty... fifteen... Then another bolt of lightening seemed to strike the mansion lawn itself, and the thunder roared. It barely registered in his sleep-induced concious, but somehow a squeal and the sound of something of ripping barely clicked in his mind. ' Oh no...,' he thought as his eyes opened. He heard little whimpers as tiny feet scampered across the floor, stopped near his coffin. Followed by another, more impatient round of knocking. He groaned and sat up again. " What is it," he muttered looking down at her as he ran his fingers through his hair.

Mina, obviously trying to keep some of her pride and stop her bottom lip from trembling, held up the stuffed bear... or what was left of the poor decapitated thing. " I think I killed Sir Teddy," she whispered in a thick voice. Alucard's eyebrows knit over his eyes in a how-in-the-world manner as he took it from her hands and inspected the damage. Not only had ' Sir Teddy's' head popped off but his buttons eyes had somehow fallen to his chest, dangling by the long stitches that had held them to his face. " I was just giving him a- a- h-h-hug to make the scaries go away," she hiccupped, trying to hide it. Alucard let out a long sigh between tight lips, and set the bear on the other side of his coffin on the floor. " We'll... bury him or something when you mother gets home," he mumbled.

When he turned back to her,her face was down, once again veiled by her long hair. It wasn't very hard to tell with his hearing and by her posture that she was crying. It was only a little, but he could sense her control over the leaky dams was slipping. ' Oh boy. Not good,' he almost whined in his head. He picked her up and swung into the coffin and on his lap. " Ah, it's okay. I'm sure he's - doing better," he mumbled as he patted her back. " Playing with - other bears - in Bear heaven... or something like that." She hiccupped and looked up at him. That face! Her eyes were huge, bright and glistening with fat salty tears, her cheeks now a blotchy red. Her bottom lip was trembling worse than before as she sniffled, she was trying so hard not to look pitiful. But for him, it wasn't working. Usually such faces only made him want to puke. With her however, he wanted to squirm, desperately wanted to do something - anything! - to make that face completely disappear.

What he didn't expect was the oppurtunity to do just that. " I can't - sleep - w-w-without - Sir Teddy," she hiccupped again, keeping her eyes locked on his sorry softened face. His shoulders slumped. " Can you help me, Daddy," she asked in a soft little chirp.

" How," he replied.

" Can you... please... let me sleep with you..."

" Of course, thats fine. My coffin's comfortable enough."

" Can you... be my..."

" Be your what," he asked earnestly.

" Uuumm... can you... be...a teddy bear..."

Alucard blinked in surprise. "Huh..." She shifted against him impatiently, and continued. " You can turn into a doggie. Could you please turn into a teddy bear... for me" Alucard blinked again then groaned. ' Oh what have I done now!,' he mentally kicked himself. He looked at Mina then bit on the inside of his cheek as she gazed at him with earnest eyes. ' I have a bad feeling that I'm going to regret this...'

The next morning Walter couldn't take it anymore. Alucard hadn't checked with him the night before, nor done his rounds of patroling the estate as expected. This of course made the butler both irritated and a tad worried. He didn't think that something had gone wrong, but he was sure that something was off. After finishing his breakfast, Walter made his way up the stairs to Sir Integra's room. After a couple of flights, he approached the bedroom door cautiously. He never could be too careful, he knew that much. The butler slowly creaked open the door, and peered aroung the edge... So far so good. He might as well investigate.

Walter noticed right away when fully entering the room that Mina was not in her bed, nor anywhere in sight. Of course with only one place left to check, he carefully stepped towards the coffin. Walter knew that Alucard was very touchy about the great black box, and only rapped on its smooth surface slightly. There was no response. Gingerly, he slowly lifted the lid. When he had the coffin completely open, he chuckled silently. Inside lay Mina, her mouth wide open as she softly snored into her father's chest. But instead of his more human form, Alucard was now a six foot tall black and red teddy bear, with thick padded limbs and all. Walter cleared his throat, trying not to be too loud. One of Alucard's red eyes opened and glared at the former hitman. Looking down to see if Mina was still sleeping - and perhaps to see if she had drooled on his clothes - he looked up at the butler with tight lips. " Don't. Say. A _word_," he hissed, displaying a muzzle full of deadly fangs. Walter just snickered and nodded - he couldn't do much else, or he'd bust up laughing and wake the girl. " Have you picked up Integra yet," the giant teddy bear asked. Walter shook his head as his face continued to turn beet red, snickering still. " Well don't say anything to her either," Alucard growled in response. " And stop smiling like that! It's not that funny..."

**Author's Note - **Alright, that one's over with. Now to work on some more ideas - or rather come up with some more of them. Thanks for reading this and for all the reviews. If you like, go ahead and check out my account, I've got a couple of polls you might want to take. Once again, I apologize for the lack of question marks. If I had another program to type with I would use that one, but I don't. Anyway, please review, let me know if anything at all seems off, and feel free to toss out new ideas for Hellsing fics. I love working on them. P.S.- Sorry if this is a bit OOC, I tried to remain true to the characters.


	3. Chapter 3 The dreaded question

**Author's Note - **I didn' think I would come up with another chapter for this series, but it's amazing what you mind will come up with when you can't sleep at three in the morning and you have Hellsing on the brain. Anyway, this is pretty short and sweet, and I mean short. I hope you get a kick out of it. Disclaimer - **I do not own Hellsing or any of the characters within this fic. All characters belong to their rightful owners. **On to the story.

The years had flown by again and now Wilhelmina Fairbrook Alric Hellsing was seven years old. She had gone through a couple of growth spurts, now reaching to be about three feet and six inches. Obviously her genes were kicking in, for now she had cravings for rare steak and her mostly blue eyes became tinged with red whenever she was exceptionally hungry, moody, or schemeing just as deviantly as her father. And said father hadn't missed a single moment of her growing up. He had helped her transfer from the small bed in Integra's room to her own chambers just down the hall, walked her to and from school everyday ( in disguise as a milder version of his hell hound familiar), attended every birthday party with at least one gift for her every time, and happily escorted her when she went trick-or-treating ( and helping her scare the crap out of the candy people she disliked for one reason or another with just as much enthusiasm). He had always been there, and he didn't plan on ever changing his mind about the whole thing.

But he hadn't expected her to ask such a simple but horrid question so soon.

Alucard sat in his royal-like chair in his own room, sipping on his regular drink with his legs sprawled out in front of him in a lazy and relaxed manner. He sighed contentedly, smacking his lips after another taste of his spiked concotion. It had taken a bit of persuasion to get Integra to put several drops of her delicious blood into the glass but he had done it. It had entailed promising her that he wouldn't taunt her in the annoying manner that he did, and physically teasing her in a manner that she didn't mind so much anymore that included close contact. She'd been stubborn but she finally gave him a little break.

As he tilted back the glass to his lips again, he heard the door creak open. A sliver of light danced in as Mina stood in the door in her slacks and short-sleeved button up, nothing on her feet but a pair of grungy socks. " Evening little draculina," he called with one of the fonder smiles that he only saved for her. " Doing well I hope."

Mina gave a small sweet smile back. " Hey Daddy."

" Come on in. You don't have to just sit there." Mina nodded and closed the door behind her, shuffling her feet on the floor as she approached him. Alucard ruffled her hair playfully once she was near the arm of his chair, and she giggled. The dark strands that shivered and shimmered as she laughed had grown considerably since two years ago, the ends just reaching the middle of her back. It was like looking into a slightly altered version of the young Integra he once knew. " Did you need something," he questioned. " You seem to have something on your mind." He didn't read her thoughts as much as he wanted to, it was a thing he did for her privacy.

Mina nibbled on her lip a little and swung her upper body left and right as she looked down at his boots. " Umm. Kind of." She looked up at him. " I wanted to know something. I was going to ask Mommy, but she said I might want to see you first."

"Oh. And what did you want to know?"

Mina swung her shoulders out a little farther, and looked down at his feet again. " Mmmm... Well..." She made a small huffing sound, as if trying to imitate one the heavy annoyed sighs she sometimes heard from Integra or her grandfather figure, Walter. " It's kind of silly," she explained, shrugging her shoulders, giving him a quick glance.

" I won't laugh if that's what you're worried about."

She hesitated, her eyes flitting from her toe that she drew little patterns on the floor with, to his red eyes. Those crimson eyes weren't a tad frightening to her as they were to most of the general individuals who came across him. They were simply loving, a trait she didn't realize that only she, her mother, and sometimes Seras ever saw. " Okay," she nodded, finally deciding that he wouldn't mind. She turned to look straight at him as he closed his eyes and tilted back his glass for another sip.

" Daddy, what's sex?"

The second the last word - so innocently tumbling from her lips - came out of her mouth, blood and wine went spewing everywhere. Mina ducked just in time as the red mix sprayed all over the room, her father's eyes as wide and bright as they probably could get. The expression on his face was priceless as was his posture - legs straight out in front of him, one hand splintering the arm of his chair in his grip while the other destroyed the wineglass. For the next several moments, the No-Life King sputtered and choked - even though he didn't need to breathe - trying to get out the the question "WHAT!" and failing. Miserably.

" Okay. Never mind," she replied calmly as he pounded his fist on his chest to stop the violent coughing. " I'll go ask Mommy." She skipped to the door.

" No! Wait!," he cried out hoarsely, still coughing. But she was gone. He slumped over heavily against the unbroken arm of the chair, trying to catch the breath he didn't need as the door closed behind her. He whammed the back of his head on the seat in aggravation. " Aww, hell..."

As the vampire tried again and again to figure out what would make Mina ask such a question, said little girl knocked on the office door upstairs. " Come in," Integra called. When the door swung open, she smiled warmly. "Ah. How did it go?" Mina shrugged as she skipped around the large desk.

" He had a problem with his drink. He didn't get to tell me."

Integra grinned and laughed in an almost evil manner. ' And that's what he gets for getting me all hot and bothered, then just leaves. Serves you right, Alucard...,' she thought haughtingly. " I see. Well come here." She lifted the young girl onto her lap, putting the paperwork aside so she wouldn't be distracted, and looked at her daughter thoughtfully. " Alright, let's see if I can put this in way you'll understand and is appropiate..."

**Author's Note - **Yeah, like I said, short and sweet. I couldn't resist. Alucard's such a perverted hunk - seducing poor, little, innocent virgins left and right - that I just couldn't resist getting a stab at him like this. I thought it would be a good way to make Mina cuter,too. I think I found a way to get the stupid question marks in there but it's a little tricky. I'll try my best though. Anyway, please leave a review, I love reading them. And if you think I should do one where Mina is a teenager just let me know. Thanks guys.


	4. Chapter 4 School life

**Author's Note - **I didn't think that this series would be so popular, or that so many people would want it to continue. But I guess it's better than I thought. I decided that I would do a chapter where Mina is a teenager, and this just sort of came to mind. After all, it's basically every teens worst fear, as far as I know that is. Anyway, I hope you like it. Just to warn you, it's going to be a really long chapter. And be prepared for some major OOC-ness. Disclaimer - **I do not own Hellsing or any of the characters in this fic. All characters belong to their rightful owners. **On to Mina's embarassment.

" I really think you should consider it, Sir Integra," Walter stated, standing before her on the other side of the desk. Integra glanced up at him as she exhaled a large plume of smoke, holding the cigar in her fingers. She nodded.

" Believe me, Walter, I'm more than considering it. The more I think about it, the better it sounds... mostly."

" Mostly, Sir?"

Integra nodded again. She leaned against the desk as she explained. " We get an overall idea to how safe she is, we'll know most of her usual routine - or so I would think, and it will give us a look to see how many other little jerks are out there." Her lips turned down slightly in the corners. " But above all, Alucard won't sit around here pacing like he has. He really has blown this out of proportion - as usual. The only problem is that Mina will undoubtedly hate the whole thing."

" Can you blame Alucard for reacting how he did?," Walter asked. " Every father with a daughter goes through it eventually."

" Mine didn't."

" Yes, but he didn't get the chance to see it," the butler countered softly. Integra had to agree to that. " But how will we arrange it? When?"

" As soon as possible. Which means the sooner we tell her and Alucard, the better," she answered.

" So you're going through with it?"

" After what she said about that little brat and our 'ultimate weapon' just about going through the roof? Most certainly. Now if you would please, Walter, summon Alucard and Mina immediately. And thank you for the suggetsion."

" Don't thank me, Sir. I'm sure Alucard will be thanking me quiet enough as is," Walter mumbled. Then he exited the office. Several minutes later, a certain red-clad vampire and Mina entered the room. The elder of the two grinned - something he hadn't done since two days ago before his daughter had came home from school - while the girl gave her mother a soft smile.

" I'm going to make this short and simple. Alucard - refrain from destroying something in your excitement. Mina - I don't want a word of complaint out of you, it won't be that bad, I'll make sure of it." The two dark haired people looked at her expectantly, one interested, the other a bit worried. " Tomorrow or the next day, you - " She pointed to the vampire. " - will be going with you to school."

Their answer was instantaneous. " WHAT?!," they asked in unison though with totally different tones.

**THE NEXT MORNING-**

" I can't believe this," Mina mumbled shifting her fully loaded backpack onto her shoulders. " I should kill Walter for this. All I did was tell you guys that a guy was being a pervert to me and I knocked him out. And you decide to come to school with me? Specifically you?"

Alucard glared a little as he looked down at her over his sunglasses. " This is not about you sucker punching him," he replied with a sigh. " It's about little... 'maggots' like that being around you." He had growled the insult as if he wanted to call her fellow peer something a lot filthier, but didn't dare do it in front of her. Not that it mattered to her, she had heard the first couple of obsceneties he had called the perv when she had left her mother's office that evening. He probably would have continued growling quiet a few more if Integra hadn't calmed him down a little.

Of course he had expected this sort of thing to happen somewhere along the way. He had heard about it quiet often enough before he and Integra had become more intimate and had - unexpectedly - had Mina. But he had expected it to happen when she was sixteen or seventeen at the earliest. Not fourteen. Alucard knew however that a figure like Mina's was not exactly going to go unnoticed for so long. Already she had sprouted to a full five feet and four inches, most likely due to his side of the family, and her hair now reached the top of her waist, shimmering and soft like black silk. She had mostly her mother's face with a few masculine traits from himself that complimented her well, her eyes just like Integra's when she had been that age - strong, wise, determined. Her lips were a little fuller than her mother's had been, and her curves were a bit more prominent. Which, for Alucard's keener sight, was a little too prominent. Especially with her white button-up blouse and slim boot-cut jeans, an outfit she was only able to wear to school on a Friday like today. He was glad he had insisted her on wearing the denim jacket, though it barely helped to "cover her up" as he had planned.

" I still don't understand why you had to come. Why not Seras, or even Walter? He suggested the ridiculous idea in the first place, and Seras is still... young enough I guess to remember what school was like. No offense, Dad. It's great spending time with you. But..."

" I came along because one; the Police Girl, your half-sister, was busy trying to get her energy back for tonights mission. Two; Walter has to help your mother finish her paperwork so she can take her weekly, evening break. And three; I wanted to come to see how much education has changed since I was human. Besides, I'd like to see how much your mother missed after your grandfather died and she met me." He looked at her. " I don't have to read your mind to know what you're thinking. Yes, I'm old. But that doesn't mean that I can't adapt to the times. I wouldn't be here if I couldn't."

Mina shrugged. " I know. But it just bugs me that my DAD is going to follow me at school." Her eyes narrowed and she paused on the side walk. " Don't eat my friends," she muttered, glaring at him.

Alucard laughed and patted her shoulder. " If you really don't want me to. You know I can't hurt anyone unless Integra tells me to." It was one of the things that Alucard and Integra hadn't fully explained to Mina, let alone give her some good hints. It's rather difficult to explain to one's own child that one parent is literally a slave to the other because of their racial differences. Thier difference in species. And he hadn't told her exactly how old he really was. It was also a sort of dreaded fear of Alucard's to tell Mina what he use to do, what he still did for the organization. He was still bloodthirsty, still as sadistic as usual. But he toned down that side of him just for her, and only gave her the basics of his missions. Another change he went through when she came into the world. He was afraid in way that, once she knew what he was really like before she was born, she would fear him, hate him. After all, killing for pure sadistic joy is not something a child is usually proud of.

As he mused somberly over this, they turned the corner. Mina pulled him back around the stone fence wall of the school before any of the others noticed them. " Wait!," she hissed.

" What?"

" Change." When he gave her a quizzical look she sighed and explained. " You'll look like a tropical fish in there if you wear that. You need to look like a human parent for the teachers if not the other students. We need to try normal."

" There's no such thing as normal. Alright, fine. I'll still look suspicious though. I can't look completely human during the day." He seemed to melt into a puddle of shadows for a breif moment, then came back up in a sleek black suit with a red tie, a gray undershirt with silver cufflinks, and black dress shoes. His hair was still the same, and he put his slightly altered sunglasses back over his eyes. " Better?," he asked.

" Yes. Almost too formal, but we can say you're a 'personal businessman' or something.," she answered cooly, dragging him back around the corner.

" How about a pimp?"

" Dad!," she hissed as he chuckled back.

Mina led the way and he followed as they entered the building, the five minute bell just ringing as they went through the door. They got a couple of weird looks as the young girl didn't seem too bugged out by the fact she was being followed by a towering, twenty-ish looking man, but neither of them really noticed. She reached the teal colored door of her locker, quickly spun the lock, then opened her bag to drop in two thick textbooks. " What's this?"

It was a rather simple question, and she didn't feel irritated that he asked. She knew that he was just curious. " It's my locker. It's kind of like the cubby the troops use to store their weapons, but I use it store my school stuff." She saw him nod out of the corner of her eye, and she stuck the last thing from her bag - a notebook - onto the top shelf.

" Mina! Yooo-whooooo!"

Both the vampire and the teen looked down the hall to watch a girl come towards them as she seemed to virtually bounce through hall traffic. She wore a bright orange t-shirt and faded blue skinny jeans, along with a pair of yellow and orange sneakers, her light brown hair pulled back in a painful looking ponytail. " Oh good, you're finally here!," she said bubbly. " Hurry up, Nora! Mina's here!," she called back over her shoulder as Alucard quirked an eyebrow at the girl. He seemed to slightly lean away from her as she turned to a patient young Hellsing. " Ready for first hour?," the bubbly girl asked as if she were conspirating with her friend.

" As much as I can be. Please tell me you didn't have cupcakes for breakfast again."

The bubbly girl giggled and Mina sighed as the girl apparently known as Nora came up beside the hyper one. " I knew it," Mina muttered.

" Morning, Mina. Sleep well?," Nora asked. She seemed like the complete opposite of the bubbly one. Her hair was auburn colored and hung loose, and she too had blue eyes like Mina's though more of a hazel color that popped due to the matching color of her turtleneck and dark jeans. Her expression seemed a little more annoyed but enthusiastic, her brown-boot-wearing feet completely still unlike the other girl.

' What happened to children in the last two centuries?,' Alucard thought looking back at the total opposites, then his daughter.

" I slept pretty good. Thanks for asking."

Finally as they began to move down the hall, the other two seemed to notice the dark stranger following them. " Umm... Mina? Who's the dude?," the bright one asked. Alucard kept an irritated look from forming on his face for being referred to as a "dude".

" Oh, sorry guys. Claire, Nora, this is my Dad. Dad, the hyper one is Claire and this is Nora. Say hello." The two girls' looks of ugly suspicion melted when Alucard gave them one of his trademark smirks and gave them a nod, and they went a little dreamy eyed.

" Morning," his voice boomed softly.

They both smiled, though Nora's was a little more contained and gave him a wave and said at the same time," Hi." Mina shook he head softly at the tone they had used. " He and my mom decided that he should follow me around today to see what my school life is like. So please don't do anything I would regret," she said, sweatdropping on the second sentence. They didn't seem to notice.

The four of them rounded a corner, went up a flight of stairs, and went into the third classroom to their right. The tardy bell rang just as the girls quickly breezed through the door, Alucard taking his time. The three teens took their seats on the left hand side somewhere near the back corner, the others hardly giving them so much as a glance. It was different for the tall newcomer. " Alright, settle down. I don't care if it's Friday," their teacher called, not noticing everyone hush as the stranger located a seat diagonally opposite of Mina. " I'll call role and then- Excuse me. Who are you?"

Alucard turned to look back at the teacher, who was at least a good foot shorter than the vampire, and gave him a slightly slyer smirk than he had with Mina's friends. " I'm Mina's father, Alucard. And you are?," he returned, the mere sound of his voice making him seem far more superior than the professor. It was as if with one word, the entire class had been handed over to him. He probably knew it too.

"Oh. Mr. Todd, geometry teacher," the little bald man mumbled, stupidly holding his hand out for a handshake. Alucard's smirk grew a tiny bit more as he reached across the row, and wrapped his long fingers around the unsuspecting human's own, using what would feel like a supremely firm grip to the man. Mr.Todd visibly cringed at the strength and coldness in the digits but didn't let go.

" Morning, Mr. Todd," Alucard greeted him, acting oblivious to the stares everyone was giving him. Or the questioning glances they were giving his daughter. " I'm guessing that the principal didn't inform you. We - Mina's mother and I - called him last night to tell him of our arrangements. I'll be observing my daughter's regular day at school. Here." The vampire pulled a peice of paper out of his pocket and handed it to the bewildered man. Mr.Todd read it over to himself then handed it back. " I'll simply sit here for the entire class period. No need to worry about interruptions - it'll be as if I were never here."

Mina rolled her eyes at this last statement. Mr.Todd nodded, mumbled his acceptance, and Alucard took his seat, deciding to sit in the same horizontal row as the three girls rather than near the teacher's desk. The teacher ordered them to open their books to a random page, meaning they were going to get a rather useless preview lecture of the chapter and no homework. A small bonus - or it would have for Mina, if it hadn't been for what her friend whispered as quietly as possible in her ear.

" Your dad is _hot_."

Mina visibly cringed, looking much like her father had nine years ago when she told Anderson an embarassing secret. She knew full well that Alucard could hear the lessons going on two rooms down the hall. This room would be no exception. She turned rigidly to Claire, who had whispered in her ear, now with a major sweatdrop. Not wanting to make it worse, she quickly scribbled out a note, then passed it to her. She had asked," Are you insane!?"

Claire's response was, " I just might go crazy for your dad. Now I know where you got all of that thick, gorgeous hair." Mina sweatdropped further. She was interrupted from giving her friend an evil glare when another note was passed to her from the other side. She opened it and read, " I didn't hear your dad say he was a Hellsing - did he split from your mom? " Mina gritted her teeth and glared at Nora this time. Nora just smiled hopefully.

In her haste to make them stop this - and maybe divert their hormonal minds to a different topic so Alucard wouldn't read them - she scribbled a response to each of them. " BACK OFF. HE'S MY _DAD_. He has good hearing, he's still with my mom, and he's WAY out of your league. Cut the dirty thoughts and don't make me smack you." In return, she got two looks of both disappointment and anger. Once Nora and Claire looked away, Mina glanced a look at her dad. He looked up, no doubt sensing her gaze, and gave her a small grin.

' You really suck right now,' she grumbled into his head.

' Of course, I do drink blood.' Mina simply dropped her head onto her desk with a thump and a sigh. This was going to be a long day.

**LUNCH HOUR -**

" It's only been three hours and you seem so depressed," Alucard said casually, obviously tormenting Mina just a little. " I didn't think geometry, biology, and history were that difficult." Both he and Mina sat at one of the round tables - which was barely tall enough to acommodate his long legs - located close to the lunchroom door. The red and black floor tiles seemed to put the vampire at some sort of ease, the rest of the room was completely white except for the tables and chairs.

" I'm not depressed," the girl muttered as he smirked at her and spun the apple she had refused to eat with one of his long gloved fingers. He didn't even have to look at it and he didn't miss a beat, as it twirled like a top. " I'm... agitated."

" At your little friends?"

Mina scowled a little. " Only a little bit. If you hadn't insisted on coming though, I wouldn't have that problem."

" I'm guessing your history teacher would also be part of it," he suggested, still grinning. Mina's scowl deepened at the memory of Ms.Coleburn and her twinkly, young brown eyes. She wished she had thought about the age of her history teacher - twenty-five - coming into play when she had met her "favorite" pupil's father.

" Yes," Mina answered. " Don't let Mom know what a horrible flirt she is. With you anyway." The young Hellsing gave sigh as her friends came to join them. " You're fangirls are approaching," she muttered before taking a sip of her water. Alucard just smirked as they began to bicker as to who got to sit next to him. In the end they both ended up sitting across from him. As they chatted over their classes - and a certain two watching him eat the apple ( to convince people that he was normal) - Mina refrained from slapping them both the entire luch period. ' Just two more hours. Just two more hours. Then it'll all be over,' she thought.

The bell rang and she eagerly urged them to get to their classes, then scampered off to her locker. She grabbed the book she needed and ran up the steps to the third floor. " You seem in a hurry," Alucard finally commented.

" Mr. Kimper isn't happy with me since I socked that idiot. If I'm late even by one second, I'll get detention," she panted back over her shoulder. " It's kind of idiotic considering that Darrell wouldn't quit hitting on me and Mr. Kimper wouldn't do anything about it, even after I reported Darrell to him several times."

" What?," the vampire hissed as they rounded a corner. Mina didn't answer back. Instead she burst through a door and jogged to a seat along the back row. The bell rang just as she sat down. Alucard moved leisurely to join her, not looking as happy as he had moments ago.

" I'm glad you decided to abide one rule, Miss Hellsing," a tall, grey haired man said sternly at the desk up front. He wore a dark puke green shirt and black slacks, his greasy hair sleeked back. " Maybe you'll abide the ones considering no violence..." The man apparently known as Mr. Kimper paused to narrow his eyes as Alucard moved to the back. " But not the ones concerning visitors on campus. May I help you?"

Alucard paused at a desk that kept Mina just within his view and looked up at the teacher. " Perhaps. I'm Alucard, Mina Hellsing's father. I suppose like most of her teachers, the principal didn't tell you that I would be observing Mina's school life today."

" No. He didn't," Mr.Krimp said snippishly. " Otherwise I'd have arrange it so I may meet you after class, rather than disrupting it."

" I won't be disrrupting anything. Just observe here in the back. I'm sure that won't be a problem," the vampire said cooly. His voice had not darkened, but even the students could tell that there was a sort of annoyed edge to Alucard's words.

" Fine. Listen up for role!," the teacher spat. " I'll have you finish reading 'The Tragedy of Julius Ceasar' and I expect a full page summary and your opinion at the end of the hour! Now - Simmons!" The students were called out one by one, most of them being successful in not cringing at the sound of Mr. Kimper's voice. Alucard's attention was on a certain boy however, who sat next Mina. He was lanky with a long rectangular face and had slick, sandy brown hair, his designer clothes looking just as greasy. Alucard watched him unnoticed through his glasses as the boy leaned back like a bum in his seat, an arrogant look on his face. "Carlisle!," Kimper snapped.

" Yeah, here. And it's Darrell."

" I call by surname, Carlisle. Get use to it, you've got two more months in here."

" Whatever," the boy answered, slouching furhter into his seat.

' So he's the little punk,' the vampire thought. ' I'm glad she left a bruise,' he commented idley as he noticed the faint dark circle over his right eye.

Alucard kept a keener eye out now, fixing his gaze on the general area where his daughter sat. Mina was reading the book studiously - he could tell by the look of concentration that she had inheirted from Integra - her eyes easily soaking up the text and processing it's meaning. He relaxed a little and slightly dazed out. 'I don't know how she can stand this fool. He doesn't even teach. Surely her Hellsing genes are screaming at her to take her place as superior. Pity.' He shook his head. ' And what happened to a good set of lashings for punishment? Why wasn't the little idiot beaten rather than sending her home with a complaint? Stupid humans.'

He paused in his musings as movement caught his eye. Darrell had slowly began sitting up in his seat, licking his lips nervously as his eyes watched Kimper to see if he was looking. Seeing that the teacher was too busy reading, he smiled a little, his eyes becoming deviant. He leaned out into the row and tried to get her attention. Alucard's lips formed a tight line as he watched. Darrell made another quiet noise, and when she didn't answer, he took his pen and tapped her on the shoulder. Mina sighed in irritaion and mouthed "What?". Darrell glanced at the teacher again then turned back to Mina with a dirty smile, raising his eyebrows suggestively. Alucard was thankful for his intense hearing once again as he heard the boy's words; " Wanna sneak with me to the bathroom?"

Mina shook her head. Alucard saw her eyes glint. " I don't have time for you Darrell. Leave me be." She turned back to her book before the boy could answer. Darrell frowned. He obviously didn't get it. He tapped her shoulder with his pen. She swatted it away with a bit of her inhuman strength as if it were a little fly, and it went over his shoulder. He frowned and picked it up.

Alucard started getting angry when Darrell became more forward. He took the pen again and poked her, only this time he deliberately prodded her chest. Mina wrenched the pen out his grip with a scowl and hissed, " Knock it off, and don't even speak to me. You're wasting my precious time." Then she sat the pen back down on the edge of his desk. It was Darrell's next move that was the final straw. " C'mon, princess, you know you just wanna beg me for it," he whispered, placing a couple of fingertips on her thigh. One little thought of Darrell's flitted across the vampire's mind as he touched her.

He didn't get much more than that on her when he suddenly froze, eyes wide. It seemed the whole room felt it and turned to look at Darrell. He blinked and Mina's eyes knit together in confusion. Darrell looked back in Alucard's direction, turning rigidly. Alucard slowly removed his glasses, locking eyes with Darrell. The boy's own pupils dialated as he saw the crimson color of the others eyes which almost seemed to glow as they narrowed. Alucard held up one finger and waved it in a no-no manner as he softly and slowly shook his head. Mina finally saw the red glow of his eyes as she looked at her "admirer", and looked at Alucard, just like the rest of the class.

Mina tried to get his attention before Mr. Kimper noticed but the teacher beat her to it. " Mr. Alucard...er... I believe you're disrupting my -" The teacher was cut short when the vampire turned his eyes on him rather than the boy. Darrell sighed and quickly moved to plant himself firmly in his seat - and away from Mina.

" My apologies, Mr. Kimper," Alucard drawled. " The boy was acting inappropriate to my daughter. I was just simply getting his attention. I understand that my eyes disturb you. It's simply... a 'genetic quirk'. A common trait on my side of the family. No need to worry yet." Without another word, he slipped the glasses back on. The class shifted nervously but finally turned back to their work. Mina just let out a large sigh of relief and a little annoyance, and followed her peers.

**AFTER SCHOOL - **

The front door of the Hellsing mansion slammed shut as Mina and Alucard came in, finally done with today's adventure. The teen dropped her bag at the foot of the steps and began to rapidly ascend. " Hey. Where are you going?," Alucard asked, leaning against the banister as he watched her begin to run.

" I am SO reporting this to Mom!," she yelled back, already half-way up the second floor.

" NO! Don't tell your mother!," he howled, running up the stairs after her.

" You did it, not me, Dad!"

" He'll be fine!"

" I don't think that's what Mom will say!"

" Mina! Don't go in that office! She just might kill me this time!"

Mina raced down the hall just as her father reached the end of the steps. The vampire sprinted after her, the coat of his normal outfit flaring out behind him, boots squeaking on the tile. Mina however beat her father for once and sprung into Integra's office without so much as a knock. " Mom! Dad scared the hell out of the kid I punched, and hypnotized Ms.Coleburn without his powers - Mr. Kimper with his powers - to give me an A without the work!," the young girl panted breathlessly in a rush. Alucard arrived just in time to watch Integra arch an eyebrow in speculation, her face distorting in anger. Mina ducked just in time to avoid a heavy silver ashtray, which collided firmly between the vampire's eyes.

" You did WHAT now!?," she yelled.

" I told you - she's going to kill me this time," the nosferatu grumbled from the floor.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE - **Yes! I finally finished it! This is longest chapter I have ever done. I tried to make it shorter but it just didn't work. I had to get Mina's friends and a couple of her teacher's in there, and it would have been longer if I wasn't so lazy. I know this hardly seems like a Hellsing fic, but I thought I'd give it a try. Thanks for reading it and please review - even if you hate it.


	5. Chapter 5 A party and Iscariot

**Author's Note – **It took forever to come up with another chapter for this series, and I do apologize for its lateness. If you haven't figured it out by now, this series is mostly about how having a daughter can affect or favorite No-Life King. I'm trying to cover every possible thing that can happen between father and daughter – without going out of the parody and humor boundaries. So if you could please throw out some ideas that I haven't already covered, I would really appreciate it. Hope you like this chapter. Disclaimer – **I do not own Hellsing. Hellsing and its properties all belong to their rightful owners.**

"Mom, I have an idea."

"Did Walter put you up to this?"

"No."

"Seras?"

"No."

"Your _father_?"

"No way."

"Alright, continue then." Mina stood in front of the desk in her mother's office, her hands clasped in front of her as she slowly and gracefully swayed her hips side to side. Her curves had become only little more prominent since she had turned sixteen, and her hair of course now was the same length as Integra's. She only had a couple more inches to grow and she'd be a woman. But for now, she used her mind to deviate as her teenage brain and her father's genes told her to.

"Well… I looked at the calendar this morning and I noticed that Halloween was coming up. So I wanted to ask you something."

"You can still go trick-or-treating. You're never too old for that."

"Well I know that," Mina responded. "But it's a little annoying when Dad glares at all the boys who pass me on the street. Besides, that's not what I wanted to tell you." Integra glanced up from her paper work and watched her daughter carefully. "I was thinking about Halloween and… the latest border skirmish we had with the Vatican-."

"Ugh, don't remind me," Integra said in half mock exasperation.

"Let me finish, please." Integra nodded. "And I also remembered that Her Majesty wanted you to come up with a way for a sort of 'truce'- even though it was _totally_ their fault." Integra smiled at Mina's half sarcasm and assented. "So I was thinking of suggesting… to invite some of the Iscariot to a Halloween bash."

Integra leaned back in her chair, eyeing Mina carefully. Mina gazed back with hopefulness and patience. The corner of Integra's lip twitched into a small smile and her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Your father did put you up to this, didn't he?"

"No! Seriously, Mom," Mina continued, circling round the desk to stand by Integra. "This really could be a good way to make it up to the Queen and get the Catholics off our backs. Her Majesty will think that we're being nice -."

"She'll know that we're pretending to be nice," Integra corrected.

"- and we'll have a chance to subtly torture Iscariot on our own ground."

Integra sighed and looked at Mina dead in the face. "It's scary how tactfully and mischievously your mind works. Usually at the same time. I can't tell if you'll be a great leader or a scheming little tyrant," she half joked.

"Please, Mom. Just think it about it. Really, it could work." Her mother sighed. Mina watched her muse over the suggestion, no doubt trying to find all of the flaws. And all of the things that Alucard might and could do if he somehow ended up unsupervised, of course. After a moment she called Walter up to her office.

"Walter," Integra asked when he came in. "How are our food supplies?"

"We just received a fresh shipment yesterday, Sir."

"How long will that last?"

"I would guess about… six months. And the blood drive was surprisingly generous as well this year. Alucard and Miss Victoria should have enough for four months or so," the butler answered.

Integra mused for a moment then smiled. "Alright. We'll invite some of Iscariot for a Halloween party. Walter, if you don't mind I'll put you in charge of invitations and food. As for you," she said, pointing at Mina. "I want you to warn your father right now that he has stay on _my_ definition of his best behavior."

"Got it!," she said cheerfully and bounced out of the room to the sublevels.

"And Walter, before you leave…?"

"Yes, Sir?"

"Make sure to tighten up security when we have the party. I don't want anything in this house to end up with a bayonet in it."

**Halloween night; the party – **"Seras, can you hand me that hairpin? I can't reach it." Seras paused in applying her light eyeliner and handed Mina the little bobby pin. Mina fixed the final 

touches of her hair-do – half of her hair in a thick bun, the rest hanging down her back – and sighed. "Thanks. You don't think I went over board with the costume do you?" Seras looked over Mina as the girl stood up.

"No, your get-up is just fine," the draculina smiled. "But why did you go as an angel? You're more of an imp than a saint."

Mina looked down at her light blue gown, gold belt and white high heels, then smiled as well. "Well that's the point. You're supposed to dress up as something you're not on Halloween." They both giggled as Seras completed her geisha costume – which was as skimpy as her usual uniform – by placing two chopsticks in her extra spiky hair-do.

"We better get going. Iscariot will be arriving any moment now," Seras muttered darkly. The idea of having to be at the same party, let alone in the same room with some of Iscariot, did not entertain her in the least. "And God only knows what Master is doing right now."

The two girls exited Mina's room and went downstairs to the main living room, where the party was being held. The room had been done up with fake spider webs in the corners and a fog machine hiding behind a potted plant. There were tons of dishes laid out on the table in the center of the room, and several bowls of punch – only a very few of which were slightly spiked. The curtains had been drawn and the room was lit with dozens of candles, a few small red spotlights lining and illuminating sections of the walls. Mina made a mental note to congratulate Walter and the Wild Geese with their interior designing, though the butler most likely deserved the most credit.

As Seras and Mina inspected the interesting dishes, Integra came sweeping down the stairs, Walter right behind her dressed up as an old Samurai. "Alright, they haven't arrived yet so let's hurry and go over things." She paused to examine Mina over, carefully holding her face in her hands. "Nice costume, dear. At least you didn't go as something… inappropriate."

"Thanks. But what are _you_?," Mina asked, taking in the red sheer layered gown, red heels, and dark burgundy cape. Her hair hung down her back in a long braid.

"You're father and I decided to go in correlated costumes."

"So what is he then?," Seras asked.

"Ta da." Everyone turned around to see Alucard at the other side of the room, wearing a familiar black tux with red tie, and his hair long. Two pointed ears stuck out of his dark locks on top of his head, as well as a long bushy tail from behind, his claws were sharper, and he had morphed a long muzzle where his mouth should have been.

"I told you not to go overboard," Integra muttered.

"Surely it's not that bad," he smirked.

"You can keep the tail and ears. If you don't show your original face, however, I will have a real muzzle put on you all night."

"Well that'll just make it better."

"Alucard," Integra said warningly. He shrugged and the canine muzzle was pulled back into his skin. "Thank you."

"Ah, I see," Mina nodded. "Big Bad Wolf and Little Red Riding Hood. Fitting I suppose. So, are we all ready for this?" Before anyone could reply the doorbell echoed throughout the mansion.

"We better be," Walter grumbled. "The Wild Geese should be down here any minute as well." As if on cue, all of the Geese and their Captain came tumbling down the stairs in costume just as the butler went to answer the door. Integra looked over her employees.

"What are you supposed to be?," she inquired Pip.

"I'm Robin Hood, and they've agreed to be my merry men," he replied flicking the bright red feather in his cowboyish hat. "Of course, there was no way in hell that we were going to go in tights so we did something a little more original." He motioned to the layers of cut up t-shirts' and sweaters and their regular pants and boots. Integra nodded and motioned them in.

As the mercenaries settled themselves around the room Walter led eight people in. Three of them were familiar; Maxwell as an elaborate Julius Caesar, Father Renaldo as one of "Caesars" men, and Anderson as a knight, (ironically) only no helmet. With them were two other men and two women. The men hadn't come in costume but their female companions did. The timid looking one with dark hair and Asian features was dressed up as a geisha much like Seras – only with a longer and red not blue kimono – while her more forward partner appeared to be a ninja, her hood hanging down for now.

"Sir Integra, it was very gracious of you to host this party and invite us," Maxwell nodded in half sincere politeness. "You've already met Father Renaldo and Anderson." The two said Iscariot's nodded at Integra as she did to them. "The other four are Bertruccio and Phillip, Hienkel Wolfe – the ninja – and Yumiko Takagi."

"Welcome," Integra said curtly, obviously trying to sound honest. "My employees are all back there, they will introduce themselves. Make yourself… comfortable as possible. The two punch bowls at the end of the table are spiked slightly – I thought that everyone would need a drink by the end of the night."

"I agree completely," Maxwell grumbled, and the Iscariot's shuffled in, appearing to wait for some sort of ambush, which never came of course. The members of each group tended to stay amongst themselves for a while, until Seras finally approached Yumiko and Heinkel in the 

corner. After a long moment of tension, Yumiko finally began to lighten up and soon she and the draculina were discussing each others costumes. One of Pip's men located the stereo in the corner that no one else had really noticed and started the first CD, and tolerable rock music quietly filled the room.

Within minutes the party finally got on it's somber feet and almost everyone was conversing amongst them all. Integra conversed casually with the one called Bertruccio, the one named Phillip was actually having a good laugh with a few of the Wild Geese near the stereo, Alucard was watching them all idly from the sidelines, Pip was having a hearty arm wrestling match with Hienkel at one end of the table, Father Renaldo and one of the Geese cheering on their respective comrade, and Anderson and Maxwell were quietly conversing about the orphanage at the other end.

As Maxwell nodded and assented at the Paladin's opinion, sipping on his clean punch, he swept the room with his eyes – and stopped dead in the corner just across from him at the other end of the room. He almost sputtered and smiled as Anderson asked what was wrong, still staring where Seras, Yumiko, and Mina were all freely talking. Then he let out a low whistle.

"What?," Anderson asked confusedly at the wolf whistle, peering at the corner. "Don't tell me you like Yumiko-."

"No. Who is _she_?," Maxwell hissed in Anderson's ear, having to stand on tip toe to do it. He subtly pointed an accusative finger at one of them.

For a moment Anderson looked at the girls perplexed, then his eyes widened. "Uh, that's Integra's daughter, Wilhelmina. But -."

"How old is she?," Maxwell asked, eyeing the girl.

"I don't know. She couldn't be any older than – twenty-two by the looks of it," Anderson answered exasperatedly. "But Maxwell -!"

"She's a doll! Here, hold this." And Maxwell shoved the punch into the Paladin's hand.

"No! Enrico!" Anderson made a cutting motion across his throat but he was already making his way across the room. Anderson sighed, face-palmed, and set the drink on the table, slumping his shoulders. "Damn it. He _never_ listens."

Mina was commenting how red in the face both Pip and Heinkel looked as Seras went to go grab them drinks, when someone cleared their throat behind her. She turned to see a Julius Caesar wearing a small smile. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'm afraid that we haven't been properly introduced."

Mina smiled coolly, much like Integra did during introductions with annoying people. "You must be the head of Iscariot, Enrico Maxwell. Welcome to Hellsing."

"Yes, I'm afraid my reputation precedes me. Yumiko?" The nun snapped her attention to her boss. "I believe Heinkel could use some encouragement. Why don't you go and cheer her on?" The nun nodded confusedly and went to investigate the wrestling match at the table.

"That was subtle," Mina commented a little sarcastically, turning back from watching the girl leave. "Fine, introductions it is." She held out her hand. "Wilhelmina Fairbrook Alric Hellsing. Mina for short. I wondered when we would meet, Mr. Maxwell."

"Oh please, call me Enrico." Mina simply smiled again, shaking her hand and trying not to wince at her firm grip. "I couldn't help but notice your costume," he continued with his less than subtle flirting. "An angel; how fitting… Considering that you will soon be protecting your country from the darkness, of course."

"Funny, I've never heard of you speaking in such a way about my mother. And yet I will be in the same profession as she. A sudden change of heart, Maxwell?"

"Please, it's Enrico. And yes, perhaps a change of… heart." Mina wasn't a fool and she noticed the faint change in his smile; formal politeness to something a little more sly.

"But doesn't your church excommunicate its members for such things? Affiliating with the enemy unless under certain orders from the Pope?," she asked, completely unperturbed.

"Depends on how severe," he replied quickly, then diverted the subject. "Speaking of your parents, I already know your mother. But I don't believe I know your father." Mina smirked as she saw a figure – who had been watching from the sidelines with quiet intensity – make its way towards them, and for the briefest moment her eyes glimmered burgundy with excitement. Maxwell blinked, no doubt shaking off the change in her eyes to some strange illusion. "Who is he?," he asked finally.

The dark figure paused behind the Iscariot. "I am."

Maxwell turned to see the speaker approach Mina, and literally gave a small squeak as he passed. Alucard wrapped an arm around her waist – almost in a protective manner – and removed his sunglasses to stare the little man down. Maxwell gulped and gave them both a weak smile as his eyes darted back and forth between them, no doubt now seeing the resemblances.

"I believe you have met my father, Maxwell. Or do you not remember Alucard?," Mina asked, an infamous smirk on her lips.

"Oh no. I… I remember you, Mr.Alucard. You have a lovely daughter. She's a wonderful hostess," the Iscariot corrected quickly.

"I'm glad we both see it that way," the vampire replied, sharing the same smirk as the one in his one in his arm, red eyes burning into the human's skull.

"I'm deeply sorry. Uhh… If you'll excuse me I think – uh- Anderson needs my attention. Something about the orphanage again," he muttered hastily. Then he turned on his heel and power walked back to Anderson, who was obviously already occupied with one of the Geese.

"I could have just told him you know," Mina told Alucard, both of them watching Maxwell chew out Anderson for not warning him, and Anderson argue the point.

"What? And let that little Italian pest hit on you? No way." They both chuckled sinisterly as Maxwell chugged down two shots of spiked punch, then pound his head on the table repeatedly with glass in hand.

"It's so much fun to watch and make them squirm," she grinned evilly up at him, wrapping an arm around his waist as well. They watched Anderson shake his head as his boss swallowed another couple of shots, until Seras finally came back with the drinks.

"Okay," she asked suspiciously, looking at their mischievous looks and handing Mina her drink. "What did I miss? More importantly, what did you do?" She gave Maxwell a glance. "And what the hell is wrong with him?"

"Yes," Integra said, coming up beside them. "That's what I would like to know."

"Nothing much. _Enrico_ is just having a bad night," Mina answered with a shrug.

"He hit on her didn't he?," Integra turned to Alucard.

"Yes."

"Did you threaten him?," she pressed.

"No. He won't need to be," Alucard smiled.

Integra sighed half-heartedly. "Alright. Remind me to thank Walter for the shots then – if he doesn't end up getting drunk."

"I don't think you'll have to worry," Seras replied, as Anderson took the shot out of Maxwell's hand. "I think he has a support group."

**Author's Note – **There, I finally updated this one. I know Pip and the Geese weren't in the other fics but I thought I'd throw them in here. I'll probably give this one a couple more chapters and then call it quits. It's getting difficult to come up with scenarios. Anyway, please review. I really do need to hear what you guys think about this. That way I can make it better.


	6. Chapter 6 Coming of a different age pt 1

**Author's Note – **Yes, it's finally been updated. I thank all of you guys who left reviews and the scenarios. I will get to those, such as the theme park one and – of course – the boyfriend one. But let me get this and its following chapter out of my system, and I will get to those as soon as I can afterwards. I hope you enjoy this. Disclaimer –** I don't own a single thing, except for this fic.**

Mina was the best on her team and she knew it. Her decent ego didn't inflate when she realized it, when she saw how much more skill she had than any other girl on the soccer field. She simply took it with stride, humbly as her Hellsing pride would allow, and did what her coach and team expected of her. And that was to be the best for them.

At this moment she was gliding down the grass to receive a pass from her teammate Amber, her long hair pulled back into a ponytail out of her face, in less need of breath than any of the other girls. Her eye was constantly on both of the ball and the other players – also her team mates since it was just practice – easily able to track them with ease. The coach – a thick woman of muscle, and an intimidating voice that belonged in the backstreets of a pub – was barking out orders, orders that Mina quickly processed. Her team followed suit.

At an early age she had realized that having a powerful vampire for a father gave you a major advantage in many areas. This year she had decided to try her hand at sports. And so far, soccer had been incredible. A way to be fairly normal for a little while.

After all, other sixteen year olds weren't like her at all.

Mina set her pace a little slower, allowing Amber to kick the ball, and quickly took it into her possession. She glanced back and forth between the white and black sphere between her feet to the long lawn and the goal just a little ways down. Her slightly loose blue and black uniform fluttered a little as she quickly maneuvered her feet to keep the ball out of the wrong hands, then did a very quick turn and raced towards the goal. She wasn't even breaking a sweat. This was so much fun, so _normal_.

It wasn't that Mina hated or even disliked her heritage – to be honest she was pretty damn proud of it – it was just that having to control her extra speed, strength, and quick reflexes sometimes became tiresome. It also didn't help that her father still hadn't explained to her everything about his side of the genetics, what being a true nosferatu like himself actually meant. Both he and her mother were a bit vague as to what exactly he did on the missions, and about those times Integra would literally order him… as if he were nothing but a slave.

She twirled around the ball again, almost taunting her teammates to try and steal it from her. She sighed, but not because of physical exhaustion. It was because she was tired mentally. Tired of wondering, tired of questions whose answers she did not know how to obtain. She swerved the soccer out of harm's way again, using the instep of her foot.

Mina knew well enough that secrets were something that were part of the family business. She knew that, for the public's safety, some things had to be kept in the dark – both literally and figuratively. She also knew all too well that – even if you were surrounded by slightly higher-class students like her – having money earned you suspicious looks. Especially if you had to be vague at what your parents did for a "living".

She worked the soccer left and right as she momentarily stared down her defensive teammate, then dashed it away from them both to reclaim it in seconds. So this was it – her way of being normal for an hour or two. Her way of slightly forgetting her slightly altered diet, the soldiers going through drills in the humongous backyard, the latest lessons on the occult waiting for her at home…the things that her parents had yet to explain. Involuntarily, as four girls raced ahead of her to stop her from scoring, the image of her father grinning came to mind. '_Maybe…_'

'…_He's hiding something from me._'

It wasn't much a distraction – but it was enough. As she was maneuvering around one of them, her concentration slightly faltered. Her balance suddenly went off, her foot wasn't sliding as smoothly over the grass as it should have been. Soon she was falling, her one foot which had been firmly planted on the ground a moment ago beginning to slip from under her.

Mina braced herself for the fall just as one of her teammates in front of her began reaching to catch her. But the other girl was suddenly thrown off balance as well as one of Mina's legs caught across her knees. Before anyone could take action they were both falling – and then tumbling in a giant mess of tangles limbs on the field. Mina heard the girl gasp in pain as they roughly skidded and rolled across the lawn.

The two of them rolled for only a moment before finally disengaging each other and stopping within five feet of each other, and eight feet from the goal. Mina felt her head collide with the ground with a solid thud as she came to a stop, lying on her back. She opened her eyes and let out a short groan, staring for a second up at the overcast sky. 'Dang. I let myself get bothered. It shouldn't have happened,' she thought.

She sat up and shifted onto her knees as the other girls began scrambling to the other tumbled player, calling "Chris! Chrissy!". She shook her head, finding that the hair tie had snapped somehow. Mina tossed it aside and looked over at the other girl.

"Sorry, Chris. You alrig-?"

She suddenly stopped short when she saw Chris sitting on the grass holding her leg in her hands. She was gritting her teeth against the pain of her injuries, a long and deep gash from knee to lower calf – and beginning to bleed quiet a bit.

It was as Mina realized that in the tumble her cleats had probably caused Chris' wound that something happened. An intoxicating smell suddenly hit her like a giant wave – no like a ten 

pound hammer across the skull, almost choking her. Mina gasped. For a brief moment she tried to shake it off, the sudden clenching feeling in her gut and the alluring aroma, until it hit her again. She leaned side to side, somehow losing her balance even on her knees, her mouth suddenly watering very profusely.

'What's…? What is happening… to me?', she thought hazily. She looked up at Chris again, saw the blood beginning to drivel down the sides of her legs, and felt her stomach clench again, her mouth salivate. Then it really hit her – she was thirsty. Suddenly dying from thirst, and the smell of blood permeating the air smelled so good. Oh so good… it smelled tasty even.

'No. This can't be happening!,' Mina thought, doubling over until her head touched the ground, her hair draping over her face. 'My diet-! The formula Dr. Trevellian made for me-! It's supposed to curb my appetite, even at times like this!' She felt an ache beginning to grow in her gums. 'Why? Why am I feeling like this? Why do I suddenly want this blood so badly?!' With a shaking hand she lifted her finger to her lips, her other arm wrapped around her waist. Her gums were hit with a wave pain and she felt them elongate, sharpen to fine points. 'Oh God! I'm losing control! I'm losing my mind!,' she panicked.

"Hey, Mina! You alright?," her friend Claire called from the hazy distance, past the thirst. Mina heard Claire jog over the field and kneel down next to her. "Mina…? Are you-?"

"Don't touch me!," she gasped, sounding pained and a little angry, anxious.

"Okay…But you alright? Let me get a look at you-."

"No," Mina choked. "No. No." She kept the curtain of her hair over her face. Mina knew what her friend and everyone else would see if they saw her. A mouth full of fangs and bright red eyes.

"Mina are you hurt? I'm going to get the coach-."

"No!," she gasped again. "Don't get-! Anyone-! Please!"

"Something's wrong with you though! What do you want me to do?," Claire protested. Mina shook her head. She had to come up with something, something to divert her attention. But as she felt her teeth elongate a little further – a slight breeze blowing the smell of Chris' blood back into her face – Mina knew that that wasn't going to work. Even if they got Chris off the field right now, it wouldn't help. And it was so difficult to think past the hunger twisting in her gut, making a haze over her thinking and vision… She could only barely think of one option.

"My – bag. In my locker-. Go…" Mina faintly heard Claire assent then run off in the other direction. Mina tried to concentrate on anything but her sudden blood-craze, failing miserably, until her usually bubbly friend returned.

"Okay. I got your bag, Mina. What now?," she asked, sounding as serious as the situation.

"Phone… My – phone. Hurry!," Mina gasped through gritted teeth.

The sounds of Claire rummaging through her friends backpack barely registered in Mina's mind as the breeze kicked up again. She let out an agonized and hungry groan. Hopefully Claire wouldn't hear anything but the pain part. "Alright. I've got your phone. I'm going into your contacts. Who do you want me to call?" Mina groaned again, tightening her grip on her stomach as the rest of her team began moving Chris off the lawn. "Mina? Mina, can you hear me? You need to tell me who to call, Mina. C'mon, Mina, answer me!"

-- Back at Hellsing--

Alucard sat back in one of the armchairs across from Walter as the butler took his late afternoon break. The semi-retired fellow sighed as he opened the latest book he had been reading and turned to his page.

"What are you doing up here at this time of day, Alucard?," Walter asked, noticing the vampires sudden appearance.

"Don't really know myself. I just can't sleep now. Something feels…off, today." Alucard shrugged, and then grinned with anticipation. "Is Integra in an exceptionally foul mood today, perhaps? There's always a 'disturbance in the force' when she's like that."

"No, no. Sir Integra is actually in a rather docile mood today. She's had a chance to relax – not as much paperwork to our surprise," Walter smiled. "I know that's such a disappointment to you though. Honestly, why do you insist on making her cranky in the first place?"

"I have my reasons."

"Giver her a heart attack so she might have to choose between dying and your offer to become like you?"

"No. Honestly, I'm more creative than that."

"Would you like to elaborate a little then?"

"Its better when she gets at least a little angry," Alucard answered vaguely.

"What's better?" Alucard said nothing, simply raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"Oh come off it!," Walter snapped at the implication, shaking his head and leaning in his seat towards the vampire. "I have no desire to know what goes on between Sir Integra and you behind locked doors!"

"You asked."

"I did not!"

"Did too," Alucard pressed with a laugh.

"Did not!"

"You did to!"

"Did not!," Walter snapped, his voice and pitch slightly rising.

"Did to!"

"No, I did n-!" Walter stopped short when the cell phone in his pocket beeped out the ringtone. He drew it out and looked at the screen. "Odd. Her soccer practice shouldn't be over yet…" The butler flipped it open. "Hello, Miss Mina how's-? I'm sorry, who is this?"

Alucard listened to the conversation on the line, picking up the tension in the girl's voice. He recognized it to be the annoying one from his daughter's school.

"Now wait, wait! Slow down!," Walter stated as Claire began babbling on the other end. "Claire, yes? Calmly tell me why you're calling on Miss Mina's phone." Alucard tuned in further.

"I'm calling because Mina can't. I don't know why. We- we had a small accident. Mina tripped or something and- and-!" Alucard's eyes narrowed.

"Take it easy. Just explain to me what happened," Walter eased the nervous teenager. "Is Mina hurt?"

"Yes! No! I'm not sure. She and our teammate Chris went tumbling-! Chris got hurt, she's bleeding pretty badly! Mina seems okay but-!"

"But what?"

"I don't know, she won't sit up. She's doubled over like her stomach hurts or something. She won't let anyone even get very close to her! She just told me to hurry and get her phone and call you! I mean you're Walter right?"

"Yes, I'm Walter. You have the right number. Why won't she-? Oh! Wait a moment. Alucard, where are you going?," Walter snapped as the vampire quickly sat up and was sweeping out the room.

"Where do you think? I'm going to bring her home," he called without looking back.

"Alucard, it's the middle of the day-! Oh blast! I'm sorry, Claire, are you still there?" Walter heard the girl reply as Alucard disappeared from sight and probably the mansion. "Listen, just keep her there and help her out what you can… No, no I don't know what could be wrong with her. We're – sending someone to take her home, alright?... Yes, it's her father… Oh good, you met him. Keep an eye out for him, just don't do anything until he gets there…"

Mina could hardly understand what was going on now. As far as she could guess, the team and coach had got Chris off of the field. Not that it helped, she could still smell the blood on the grass five feet away as if it were right under her nose. Plus the fact that her entire team was surrounding her…their heartbeats reverberating in her ears… the new warm scent of them all around her was not making anything any better. She thought of holding her breath but knew that wouldn't get rid the pounding in her ears.

"Mina? Can you still hear me?," Claire called, sounding miles away in the red haze in Mina's head. After processing the words slowly, she nodded a little. "Someone's coming to pick you up, okay? Someone from home. They're on their way right now." Mina nodded again. Home was the only place she wanted to be right now. The only place where they would actually be able to handle her.

But she wasn't sure of they could help her.

As the faint idea of home flitted in the red haze, a small commotion seemed to start around the circle. She heard the coach protesting and someone drawing nearer. 'Oh no,' Mina thought. 'Oh please don't be one of the men. Or Walter! Or Mom! I should have thought about this! I don't want to hurt anyone! Oh please!' She heard someone kneel down and a hand rest on her shoulder.

"Don't touch-!"

"Mina, it's me," a familiar voice called through the haze, right next to her ear.

"D-Dad-?"

"You need to relax. Take a deep breath and loosen up your muscles."

"No!," she choked. "I-! Can't-!"

"Mina, relax," her father pressed, squeezing her shoulders.

"No-!"

"You're going to bust something if you don't."

"I _can't_!"

"Why?," he asked.

"Be-cause…" she said under her breath, just audible enough that Alucard could clearly hear it. "If- I… Do… I'll…" She shook her head. "I'll _kill them_!"

Mina waited, her eyes pinned to the ground on the same bit of dirt and grass she had been staring at since she had sat up. Her stomach was doing flips – hungry horrid flips. A single tiny 

strand of her hair was moved to the side and she felt her father's gaze on her. She wondered what he was thinking; was he disappointed that she had lost control so easily? Was he perhaps angry at how much she resembled a Freak, after all that's what she was certain she looked like? She didn't dare look up in fear of having the others get a glimpse of her eyes… and seeing her father's face.

"She needs some room," she heard him say, probably talking to her coach, or the team, or both. "Just back up and give her some space. She's feeling nauseous." Mina heard feet shuffling and then Alucard's hand firmly grasping her bicep. "I want you to keep your face down, hair in front, and hold your breath. Close your eyes and act sick. You understand?," he instructed her in a low voice. She nodded faintly and gasped as he suddenly hefted her to her feet, wrapping his arm around her waist.

Alucard began helping her stagger off the field as she took the deepest breath she dared to take. "I'm taking her home," he stated, leaving no room for argument. Mina heard her coach make a sound of discontent and her team whispering among themselves but nothing more as her father steered her towards the front gate of school. After some stumbling they went around the bend of the fence and continued walking. They continued on like that, Mina gasping quietly but harshly. The smell of blood seemed to be following her, and she couldn't get back into control.

After moving away from the school slowly and escaping by about two hundred feet, Alucard brought them to a stop. He looked back over their shoulders, looked down both ways of the road, and scoured the rest of their surroundings. When he seemed satisfied he shifted her into his arms. She went even dizzier than before as they faded into the dark portal he had made then seem to gain her less altered balance as soon as they came out the other end. She didn't need to look up to know that they were home.

As Alucard began helping her stumble to her room – or least that's where she could only hazily assume they were going – Walter came down the stairs. 'He has such wonderful timing…,' she thought both darkly and – regrettably – hungrily.

"Is she alri-?"

"Just keep your distance, Walter. She isn't hurt, but right now she could be a threat both to herself and others. I need you to hurry and grab my dinner and bring it to her room."

Walter agreed and ran off to Alucard's chambers. Mina staggered to her room with her father's arm still around her waist, her gums and guts still aching. Alucard opened the door for her when they finally reached their destination, and helped her sit – or rather collapse – onto the bed. She lay there with her face down, curling up into a ball as she became dizzy again. The succulent aroma was still coming on her wave on wave.

"Now relax. If you stiffen up, it'll only get worse." Mina tried to do as he told her but she could only do so much. She was too… wired, too damn thirsty. Her mind was in a haze but it was darting about, as if she were jumping from log to log on a lake in dense fog. She rolled onto her back, gripping her head in her hands, trying to go back to normal. It wasn't working. Mina was simply too thirsty.

Walter came in a few moments later, with the two packs of medical blood Alucard was to have for dinner, or rather breakfast if he had woken up as he would on a more regular schedule. Alucard leaped up to the door hastily, took the blood and muttered something to the butler. Mina didn't hear what he said, but she had a feeling it had something to do with leaving them alone and don't let anyone in. Then Walter nodded, left, and Alucard sat back down next to her.

He held up one of the blood packets and ripped off the lid, not even spilling a drop. Then – to her surprise – he held it in front of her face as he moved her hair out of the way. "Drink," he said calmly. Mina shook her head, eyes wide. "Please don't give me a rerun of Police Girl. Now hurry and drink."

"I can't. Mom will-!"

"She isn't going to kill you, Mina. She'll understand."

"But my diet! My formula -!"

"- Isn't going to work for you anymore." He paused. "You've out grown it." He said the last part quietly, in a soft tone that almost made Mina worry. He held the packet in front of her face again, and this time she snatched it eagerly out of his hand. Disregarding the built in straw she bit down on the entire top half and sucked the bag dry so quickly that not a single drop was left.

She tossed it to the side with a lazy hand and stared up at the ceiling. Most likely knowing that she was still thirsty he removed the cap from the straw of the second bag and held it out to her. When she tried to greedily swipe it into her hand however, he jerked it back, still not spilling. He kept his body and opposite arm between her and the blood as she unthinkingly snarled and tried to reach for it. He held it out at arms length as she impatiently reached for it again.

"No," he said firmly. "Take it easy. I'm not going to let you go ballistic and on a bloodlust rampage. You're going to have to keep trying to maintain control." He brought the blood closer as she slumped against his shoulder with a hungry pout. "Now…" He slowly handed it to her. "Take it _easy_."

Mina stared at the packet, and licking her lips, she carefully picked the packet from his hand. As soon as she had it, she stuck the straw in her mouth sucked on it hard. The blood was gone in four or five swallows. "That's better," he commented as she finally began to start 

thinking straight. When she finished it she looked down at the empty and dry bag sadly then tossed it away from her across the room. She brought up her knees, wrapped her arms around them, and rested her head on top.

Alucard sighed. "It's not your fault," he said, eyes on her. "And you're not weak either. This is just another part of you growing up."

"Since when has the desire to kill your friends for their blood been part of being a teenager?," she grumbled, as if she were mad at him. But he heard the under lying tones all too well. She was bitter at herself, and perhaps building up to tears. Something that was still impossibly difficult for him to handle.

"Well… since when you have you been a 'normal' teenager?," he chuckled a little. She said nothing and he sighed again. "You shouldn't feel guilty. A lot of this is my fault. I should have talked to you and your mother about it; about you growing out of the formula and the diet we made for you."

"Why don't you tell me anything?"

"What?," he asked softly, slightly baffled.

"Not just you," Mina continued, looking up from her knees. Her eyes hadn't gone back to blue yet. "You and Mom – you guys keep things from me… don't you?" Alucard looked at the floor as he listened. "I'm supposed to run this organization when Mom retires or… dies. But you never really tell me what happens when you or Seras go out on the job. No one does. And more importantly, you – specifically _you_ – don't tell me anything. It wasn't until at practice today did I realize that not once in my whole _life _have you ever told me about yourself! Not about being a vampire, or with Mom, or about how you met Walter, or even Seras, or – or – or _anything_ at all about your past! Or why Mom just sometimes – she -! It's like you're her slave or something!"

Alucard inwardly flinched. It was scary how she had hit the nail on that last one. She wasn't done yet. "But most importantly you have never told me a thing about you. All I know is that my father is a vampire, he has a fledgling – my half-sister, his only friend that I know is the butler, and for some reason he's with my mother, the woman who sometimes treats him like… like he has no right or say in this house." She gulped. Tears were starting to pool in her eyes. "And that's where the list stops."

Mina watched him continue to stare at the floor with half-hooded eyes, his face completely somber. It was as if he had been turned to stone. She waited for him to unfreeze himself, waited for him to say something, to maybe even get angry. But he didn't. He sat there staring at the floor.

She felt her eyes well up a little more, and shook her head. She jumped a little when he finally spoke. "The one thing I've ever actually been afraid of… Afraid that you would ask…" 

He spoke so quietly Mina almost had to lean forward to hear him. He shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Afraid I'd ask?" She shook her head again, beginning to forget her own dilemma from moments ago. "Why?"

Alucard stared at the floor again, his face still somber, serious even. The wheels began to turn in Mina's head, curious at what he could mean. Afraid to ask about him? She couldn't see what was so frightening about that, even if he was hiding something. It couldn't be that bad… could it? As if reading her mind – though she knew he hadn't – he spoke again.

"Mina… I'm not what you think I am."

**Author's Note – **There you go guys, I'm leaving you with a tiny cliffhanger. Nothing serious is it? Or am I killing you guys with anticipation? Anyway, I'll update when I can, preferably ASAP. Please leave a review and try to be patient. Hope you like the chapter.


	7. Chapter 7 Coming of a different age pt 2

**Author's Note – **Okay guys, I know I kind of pulled a fast one on you with the last chapter. I know it sounds like it should have gone in a different category rather than Humor/Parody, but it doesn't. Originally chapter 6 and this chapter were supposed to be one giant chapter. But I'm lazy and I felt that the seriousness from the last chapter would kind of override the humor (which will be in this chapter). So I split them up into two parts. I will also begin working on three more chapters for this fic – one about a theme park, one about the boyfriend of course, and one on Father's Day – as soon as I can. I'll be camping in a few days, so it might take awhile to update. So please be patient, I'm cranking these out as fast as I can, and I hope you enjoy this chapter. Disclaimer – **I don't own a single thing except for this fic, and perhaps Mina.**

"Mina… I'm not what you think I am."

Mina's eyes narrowed as she looked at her father with curiosity and confusion. She paused, trying to understand what he was implying. After a moment of trying to process and gather her words she spoke. "What do you mean? I mean, you're a vampire, you're still my dad…right?"

"Yes. Yes, I'm still both of those things. But I'm not… what I may appear to be."

"Not what you may appear to be? I- I don't get it."

Alucard sighed and seemed to struggle for words as he ran his fingers through his hair again. He looked at her then back at the floor. "Uhh… How do I put this…?" He shook his head and looked at her. "I'm not exactly… the same… when I'm not around you. Are you starting to understand?"

Mina shook her head. "No. I'm not."

Alucard exhaled sharply between pursed lips and looked around the room, as if some sign would suddenly be revealed to him. The furniture just stared back at him, and the walls were silent. "Well… Oh boy… Um… Okay. Okay." He shifted closer to her on the mattress. "Do you feel okay now? I mean, you're not so thirsty right? You feel a little more in control?" Mina nodded. "Okay then. I, uh…I think we need to go talk to your mother."

--In the office--

Integra looked over Mina again and again as Alucard explained the events that had happened within the last half hour. It perturbed her slightly that Alucard had let Mina guzzle down the blood packets – one had been bad enough – without consulting her, but she didn't say anything. She would confront him with it later. At least he was consulting her now. Then Alucard told her about the slightly bigger problem; the lack of communication between Mina and her family. The lack of trust she was feeling. And Integra realized that Mina was right. They really were keeping a lot of things from her, they always had, and now she felt rather guilty. Pretty damn guilty actually.

Integra leaned back in her chair, staring at the top of her desk for a moment. She had always wondered during her pregnancy if she would actually be a good mother. She knew parents made mistakes, but she was starting to have her doubts.

"So," Alucard said, concluding his explanation. "What do you think? What's the best way to go about this?"

Mina looked back and forth between them, still looking just as confused and curious as she had when she came into the office. "Is it really that serious? Are really that different when I'm not around?," she inquired.

Integra nodded. "Yes." She paused as an idea dawned on her. "And Alucard isn't the only one." Peering at Mina for another brief moment, she turned back to him. "Alucard, I want you to go get Seras. Tell her to go to the debriefing room. If you see Walter before I do, tell him to fetch the tapes from the Valentine attack, the expedition to Rio and whatever footage we have left from the aircraft carrier Eagle and the SR-71 you flew. He'll have to set up the video projector and meet us there. Mina, go with your father please."

Both Alucard and the girl looked at Integra questioningly, but did as she said and left the office. As they went out the door and began heading to Seras' room Mina tugged on his sleeve. "Wait a minute- You flew a jet? A spy jet?"

"Uh, yeah. I did. Years ago. And if I'm guessing right, you'll get to see it… and a bunch of other stuff too."

"All on you?"

"No, there wasn't any footage of my fight during the Valentine attack. So I'm kind of puzzled on what your mother is doing. And of course she isn't letting me read her mind," he grumbled the last part.

The two of them met Seras on the second floor and directed her to the debriefing room as Integra had told them to. When they arrived, Integra was working the last touches on the video projector and Walter soon walked in with a few DVD's. "Thank you, Seras, Walter," Integra said. Walter sat the DVD's on the stand with the projector as everyone else but Integra took a seat at the table in the room.

"Okay, Mom. What's going on?," Mina asked, sitting next to Seras and across from Alucard.

"I'll tell you. Walter, Seras, we have a slight problem. Actually a big problem. We have a lack of communication in this family. And unfortunately, although we may have not noticed, Mina has. And it's getting to the point that she can't think straight. So I have decided that it's time… that we show her what we're really like. Even if it means showing our… darker sides, so to speak."

Integra turned to Alucard for a moment as she continued. "Originally it was just going to be Alucard's true self – or original self – that we were going to reveal. But I realized that, although he has sort of a lot to hide, we are just as guilty for not being frank with Mina. Even I haven't been completely honest with her." She turned back to the other two. "So Walter, Seras, as you have probably already realized, I was going to show her some of your… true selves from the Valentine attack."

The butler and the draculina both looked at each and thought for a minute. Seras was the first to speak. "Well… she is the only sibling I've ever had – even if we're barely half-related. I guess I aught to come out with some of the… regrettable things I've done." Integra nodded and looked at her butler.

"And you, Walter?"

He scratched his head and nodded. "Miss Victoria has a point. I've helped raise her just as I did with you, Sir Integra. And as since she's the one to take charge of the family business when the time comes... Well, she might as well know about the services I can provide. Even if I'm supposed to be retired."

"What about you, Integra?," Alucard asked. "I doubt you're that much different around her than what you were like before Mina was born."

Integra looked at him and nodded. "I know. That's why when we're done with the footage, I planned to have you and I sit down with her… and explain our 'positions' in this house. Why I behave the way I do around you, most of the time." Alucard looked at the table and nodded. "Mina, whenever you're ready, we'll start the footage. The videos with you father will be last. Alright?"

Mina looked around the table at them all. She was surprised at how serious they all were, surprised that she was finally going to get the answers to her unspoken questions. She bit her in slight anticipation, then nodded. "Okay. If you guys are okay with this." Integra nodded with a small smile and Walter started the first video.

As the DVD began to play Integra explained what was going on, how far back this had happened. Mina watched with wide eyes as she saw Walter calmly – and with surprising speed – take on Jan Valentines ghoul army without so much as breaking sweat. She couldn't believe that this was the same butler that she had sucker punched when she was only a few years old.

Then Integra fast forwarded the video a little and out of the corner of her eye, Mina saw Seras flinch and slump in her seat. "I panicked. I was scared. Don't know what came over me," she whispered apologetically and quickly in Mina's ear. She hurried and semi-hid herself in her seat as Mina's eyes widened a little more, watching her half-sister take out the rest of the ghouls 

in hall – with her own two hands. Seras mouthed the word "sorry" to Mina as Integra snapped her out of her frenzy on the screen.

Walter quickly stood up and began the next DVD. As soon as he popped it into the tray, Alucard began drumming his fingers on the table. Mina realized that this one and the last one were all him. As soon as Walter pressed play then pause, Alucard suddenly sighed agitatedly and quickly stood out of his chair, opting to begin pacing behind the projector. Mina only looked at him confused until Integra explained the situation again; the whole deal with Millennium, how Alucard and Seras had been pinned as terrorists, and the orders Integra had – a little reluctantly but angrily – given him.

"We managed to retrieve the tapes from the hallways and the elevator from the Hotel before anyone else could get them. We edited them best for reports and put it all as one tape on DVD. It's been in the archives for a while, so they might have a problem playing here or there."

Walter finally pressed play and Mina glued her eyes to the screen. For minute she watched it with some confusion, until the SWAT team opened fire – and her father gladly opened fire right back. Her eyes widened some more as she watched Alucard slaughter them, his eyes glinting and a grin she had never seen on his face as the mortals started running for the elevator. The real Alucard paced in the back of the room, a little worried at his daughter's expression.

Her expression didn't change when the Rio DVD was switched out with next one – the one with the jet. Without a single sound she watched the Nazis freaking out as a bright red dot came plummeting towards them from 85,000 feet at Mach 8 speed. Watched the jet get closer and closer, saw her father transform into something giant and black and had thousand eyes. It certainly wasn't the teddy bear she remembered from years ago. And she watched him get out of the blazing jet after he nose-dived it right into the ship, grinning like a mad man at the terrified survivors. The screen suddenly went blue and everyone turned to see Alucard at the projector, his finger on the stop button.

"I think she gets it," he muttered with shifty eyes.

All eyes were on Mina. Her expression would have been comical in any other situation; eyes as big as dinner plates, resembling the black and white hypnotist swirls as they spun round and round, and her mouth seeming to have disappeared. She was still staring at the screen.

"Mina?," Alucard asked quietly, carefully approaching her seat. "Mina?"

"What?" Her voice was monotone, and was very low.

"Are you…?" Alucard sighed. "Are you… angry with me?"

They watched her fists clench on the table top. "Yes," she growled, her hair hiding her face.

Before Alucard or anyone could don on a sad expression, Mina whirled around on them. They suddenly seemed to shrink as she impossibly towered over them all, her head seeming to become gigantic, a vein throbbing on her forehead. "You all freaking _**KICK ASS**_, and none of you _TOLD ME_?!," she yelled, her eyes turning into giant balls of fire.

They all stood there with a "WTF?" look, staring at her. "W-What?," Seras muttered.

"I mean good grief!," Mina continued, looking exasperated. "Walter! You're in better shape than my entire soccer team put together! And you're actually vicious – how cool is that! And Seras; why didn't you tell me you had an evil side?! We could have scared the Iscariot's witless at the Halloween party! And _**you**_!," she exclaimed, whirling on her father with an accusative finger pointed right at him. "_You_ are the craziest, most awesome, most powerful, the most – the most – freaking wicked _**badass**_ ever known! And you hid it from me?! What, I don't get bragging rights or something?!"

Everyone stared at Mina as she tried to catch her breath, still starting expectantly up at her father. He blinked at her with the blankest expression, and then his face distorted. His mouth became a wavy line, one eye widened as the other narrowed and began to twitch, an eyebrow arched. "My daughter – just called me –a…_badass_?," he asked to no one in particular, his voice rising an octave or two. Then without warning, Alucard was suddenly lying on his back on the floor, one hand twitching in the air along with a leg standing straight up in the air, stiff as a board.

"Um… Master? Are you okay?," Seras asked as they all leaned over him with a slightly surprised look.

"I worried for nothing," he grumbled, his pitch still high and his voice wavering like he was drunk.

"Dad? Are you going to be okay? 'Cause I was hoping you'd take me on a mission tonight. Just to watch you have fun killing, you know?" Alucard let out a groan and his hand spasmed.

**Author's Note – **There you go. For those of you who missed the lack of humor in the last chapter, I hope this made up for it. I'm sorry if it's short, I was kinda' hurrying about it. Thanks for the reviews guys, and please leave plenty more. I'll get the theme park chapter or boyfriend chapter as soon as I can. Thanks for reading the series this far, I really appreciate it.


	8. Chapter 8 Walking and Stumbling

**Author's Note – **I know you're all eager for the boyfriend chapter but I'm still working on it. I have the whole chapter in my head, it's just that I'm still trying to figure out what kind of guy Mina will go out with. Also, I know that it seems like that these are going in chronological order, but they're not. It's just that I ended up writing the chapters in order of Mina growing up. From here on out, the chapters will probably be random, and will have happened any time in Mina's life. This one was inspired by **chinoodin's** suggestions and Gary Allan's song "Tough Little Boys". I highly suggest you listen to the song on YouTube or something. It's been forever since I listened to it, but I listened to it the other day and it reminded me of this whole series perfectly. Anyway, enough rambling. I hope you enjoy the chapter. Disclaimer – **I don't own Hellsing or any other series or characters. Except perhaps Mina.**

Integra and Alucard watched Mina with slightly surprised eyes as Mina chugged down the third full bottle of her milk and formula mix on the office floor. It was the third bottle in the last twenty minutes. They quirked their eyebrows as she leaned the bottle all the way to ninety degrees, listening to her gulp it down loudly, the drink quickly disappearing from the bottle as it was greedily drained. Then she slurped the last drops she could manage and smacked her lips, looking at the plastic container in her hand with what must have been disappointment.

"She is one hungry baby," Integra muttered as thirteen-month old Mina began hitting her empty bottle on the floor – probably hoping there would be more hiding within.

"She isn't a normal baby," Alucard shrugged, shaking his head as the bottle was chucked about ten feet away.

"At this rate, Dr. Trevellian will have to make several crates full a month just to keep up," Integra commented. Mina looked at her mother and father for a moment as they stood by Integra's desk until her attention roamed around the office. "I just hope he doesn't ask for a raise. I have enough cut backs on funding thanks to the Round Table. Bloody old fools…"

"What's in the formula anyway?," Alucard asked.

"Most things a baby needs; protein, fiber, her essential nutrients. The only thing really different about it from regular formulas is that is contains hints of plasma. Not much for her to really notice or affect her eye color. Just enough to curb her appetite." Integra shook her head. "I guess she doesn't mind about her diet, so I suppose I have no reason to complain."

Alucard nodded but said nothing. He yawned long and loud, his lower jaw slightly dislocating and his long tongue lolling out. With his mouthful of razor sharp teeth, he resembled more of a lion than a human when he yawned. He rubbed at one of his eyes and sighed. Both he and Integra were quiet exhausted. Between him going out on missions, Integra dealing with the other Round Table members and running the organization, and both of them having awkward sleeping patterns because of Mina's crying – him getting up in the middle of the day, and she in the middle of the night when he was gone – they both needed a good nap. And a good warm 

meal… and a break from work… and a break from changing diapers (which the No-Life King was still having difficulties with).

As Alucard reluctantly reflected back on the first time he had to do the dirty deed, Integra sighed and moved back around the desk to slump heavily into her chair. She rubbed at her temples and looked up to watch Mina again as she crawled around the room. Mina began pulling herself up by using one of the potted plants as Integra spoke. "You know, I love her to death. I really do. And she'll probably grow up to be a better Hellsing than I. But sometimes…" Here the current head of the Hellsing family shook her head and frowned. "But sometimes I sit and wonder _why_ I wasn't smart enough to use a stupid, bloody _condom_."

Alucard just snickered, turning his back to hide it and pretend to look out at the full moon from the window. "You think about it too, Alucard. Especially when I order you to change her diaper." Integra smiled as she saw the vampire sweat drop out of the corner of her eye. "That's what I thought," she said smugly.

They watched the baby girl wander around the room for little longer then Integra turned to the desk. She opened one of its drawers, rummaging through it until she found her prize. She pulled out the slightly dusty tin of cigars and set in on her desk.

"What are you doing?," Alucard asked in a tone that said that he obviously knew what she was doing, but didn't approve of it.

"What does it look like?," she questioned back past the cancer stick in her mouth, digging in the drawer again for the lighter. When she pulled it out finally and flicked it open, Alucard swiped the cigar from her mouth. "Now what are _you _doing?," she snapped.

"I can't let you have one of these. Now that we have Mina you shouldn't smoke, even when she isn't around." Integra shook her head and rolled her eyes and reached for the cigar. Alucard pulled it back as Mina began to watch them.

"I want my cigar, Alucard."

"No," he replied with a smile.

"Give it to me."

"I'm afraid not, Integra."

Integra frowned and glared up at him. "Alucard, I am in dire need of nicotine. I am overflowing with stress and need some relaxation. I have no time for a hot bath and I don't think I can trust you tonight for a massage because of your perverseness. Now give me my cigar, or I will order you to give it to me."

Alucard just smiled further and twirled the cigar in his fingers. Integra growled and held out her palm. "Give me my cigar right now, Vampire. That's an order." Alucard stared back at her for a moment then shrugged.

"Alright. As you wish." He then held the cigar his fingers and snapped it in two. Then he handed it back to Integra, who now had a throbbing vein near her temple.

"You really aren't helping my headache," she growled as she tossed the worthless cigar into the waste basket. As she was straightening back up she glanced around for Mina and stopped. "Alucard," she barely whispered.

"Hm?"

"Look!"

Alucard followed Integra's gaze and stiffened. Mina was standing on her little feet, wobbling slightly, holding onto nothing but thin air. Her concentration was fixated on the floor and her stubby toes as she leaned to and fro. Alucard stared seeming unable to move just as much as Integra. Mina stuck out her tongue a little as she focused on her right foot, raised it, balanced for a split second, and then set it back down in front of her.

Finally finding his own two feet, Alucard slowly moved around the desk to kneel in front. He didn't take his eyes off Mina even for a millisecond. Mina concentrated again only this time on her left foot and slowly repeated the process of moving it forward.

"Hey, Mina," Integra spoke, sounding slightly breathless, as Mina balanced her body upright. Mina looked up at her mother, her arms straight out as she pinned her eyes on Integra. "What are you doing over there?," Integra smiled. "Are you walking?" Mina grinned a little then suddenly focused on her balance again as she almost fell back. Alucard's nerves were almost shaking.

"Why don't you go to Daddy, Mina?," Integra continued, locking eyes with their baby girl. Then she pointed over to the other end of the desk where Alucard kneeled. "Go to Daddy, sweetie." Mina looked over at him. Alucard gulped and held out his arms, nodding and moving his fingers to encourage her. The baby grinned and began cautiously moving to him over the floor.

It wasn't very far from where he kneeled and Mina precariously stood, probably no more than four feet. But for him, Alucard thought that she might as well have been on the other side of England with his rattling nerves. He encouraged her with quiet words, slightly worried that she kept staring at him rather than focusing on her feet again. His throat choked when she almost slipped but her footing stayed. He moved his fingers and nodded. "That's it Mina. Just a few more steps." He barely sounded hoarse.

Mina moved her left foot…Then her right…Then the left one again. Alucard smiled. Mina took another step – and slipped face forward. Before she could really fall though, Alucard shot out his upper body and caught her, his eyes wide. Mina blinked at the floor for a second as he sweated bullets then looked up at Alucard and gave him a wide grin, giggling. He sighed and hung his head as she just laughed, holding on to his forearms.

"If fatherhood is always this terrifying," Alucard muttered, his hair over his eyes, which for some reason seemed to be slightly "leaking". "Then maybe a condom would have been great after all."

**Author's Note – **Yeah, I know. It's really short, and it has more Alucard and Integra than father/daughter moments. But I didn't want to make it really short, so I put the cigar thing in here as a slight filler until I had Mina walking. And besides; I haven't given Integra much dialog or let her have very many growing up moments with Mina. Plus I had to put some sort of humor in there. And I know, I know; condoms are not 100 percent reliable. Sorry if the last part made Alucard really OOC by the way. I hope you enjoyed this. PLEASE leave PLENTY of reviews.


	9. Chapter 9 First date aka Interrogation

**Author's Note – **Alright, alright! Fine! Here it is – the long-awaited boyfriend chapter. Sorry it took me so long. I finally figured out the kind of guy Mina might go out with, and I hope this meets your guys' expectations. Once again, I'm sorry it took so long (mumbles bitterly about high school) Anyway, I hope you enjoy. Disclaimer – **I do not own Hellsing or any other series or any characters. Except perhaps Mina.**

Mina was overly anxious this evening. Or at least that's what Alucard thought, watching her dash about her room, flipping open her dresser drawers, scrambling through them, then making sounds of disgust, turning back to the closet for the fifth time. There were one or two of her best dresses splayed out on her bed, three pairs of shoes scattered all over the room – one of which was a black high-heel balancing precariously on her lamp – and several pairs of jeans and blouses all over the bed and floor. Alucard quirked an eyebrow in the doorway as she went through another drawer and a bright red bra landed on his shoulder.

He had just came up from the kitchen to tell her that Walter was almost finished with dinner, and that she would have to wash up soon. Now he was looking at an all new battle zone – on which a war between a teenager and her clothes was raging on – watching Mina in confusion. He had no idea why she would be so frustrated with her wardrobe. He cleared his throat as he gingerly removed the bra from his shoulder with two fingers. Mina whipped out of her closet and smiled sheepishly.

"Oh…Hey, Dad. How's it going?" She stumbled out and tiptoed over to him.

"Not much, surprisingly," he replied as she snatched the undergarment out of his hand. "I was going to tell you that you need to go wash up for dinner. But it looks like you're kind of…busy." He shrugged. "What's going on?"

"Uumm… Not much," she mumbled with her back turned, preoccupying herself with a black mini skirt.

"Hey! Where did you get that?," he snapped, grabbing it out of her grasp.

"Well Seras of course." Alucard just shook his head.

"You shouldn't borrow her clothes," he grumbled.

"I don't see why not. Seras doesn't look much older than nineteen and she wears that kind of stuff all the time."

"The Police Girl is use to perverts," he grumbled very low under his breath.

"Like you and Pip?" He sweat dropped.

"You didn't answer my question. What's the occasion?"

"It's uuhhh – It's nothing," she said turning away again to look over a pair of faded jeans. "Just… nothing. Nothing for you to worry about."

Alucard smirked and crossed his arms over his chest. He walked around the room slowly then sat down on the bed as she twitchingly inspected a different pair of pants. "Nothing for me to worry about, huh?" She shook her head feverently. He shook his own head. "We know well enough that I have very little to worry about. I'm almost indestructible. And in the few times you have ever told me or your mother that we 'have nothing to worry about'… It turned out that there _was_ something to worry about." Mina paused biting her lip, not daring to look at him and his smirk.

"What's going on, Mina?"

"I'm just… going out."

"Going out?," he asked confused. He didn't see what was so bad about that.

"Yeah. Just going out."

"Oh," he said, still puzzled but grateful that he had been wrong about worrying. "Well, are you going alone?"

"No, no. I'm… going with… someone from school."

"One of your friends? Like Nora and Claire?"

"Mmmm… Not quiet."

"What do you mean?," he asked. "Did a new girl transfer in or something?"

"No, no. There aren't any new kids at school."

"Well at least tell me their name then. You do know their name, right?," he teased.

"Yeah. Yeah, I know their name."

"Well go on. Tell me then." Mina bit her lip again, wringing her hands for only a small second, then stiffly turned to him. He stared right back as she seemed to measure his expression. He was morbidly curious as to how serious she really was about all this, and waited patiently. "So? What's their name?"

Mina sighed gave him one look then quickly mumbled, "Quincy."

Alucard's smile dropped in confusion. A doubt began to form in his mind. "Quincy?" Mina nodded again, turning to investigate a pair of black sneakers. "Wait a minute," he said, standing up as his eyes widened up a little. "Quincy…As in…" She gave him a quick look and moved around the room – probably to get away since he was moving towards her as he spoke. "Quincy as in…a boy?!"

"Uh-huh," she said quickly dashing to the other side of the room again.

"So you mean you're going out on a-!" His eyes widened, and he stiffened, stopping in his tracks. "You're going out on a d-! A d-! D-d-d-da-!"

"Yes, Dad," she responded with an exasperated sigh. "I'm going on a _date_. You know. D-A-T-E. Date." Mina gauged her father's expression carefully as he almost gaped at her, frozen stiff. She looked him over, worried that any second now her room would be demolished. "Dad? Are you-?" Before she could mutter another syllable, her door was thrown back so hard that it splintered slightly against the wall behind it, and he was gone. Or rather he was on his way of getting gone; she could hear his boots pounding on the floor, sprinting.

"_IINTEEGRRAAAAAAA!!_" Mina sighed, a sweat drop on her face as she continued picking out her outfit. Walter would have to fix the door later.

&

"Walter, how long has Alucard been visiting Mina?" Integra asked, glancing up at the clock expectantly. The butler, having just informed his employer that dinner was done, looked at the watch on his wrist.

"Oh, I'd say…about three to four minutes now." He glanced at her. "Do you think he…?"

Integra held up her hand as she looked at the clock. "Wait," was all she said, as if she were telling her men to hold fire, completely serious. She nodded with the ticking of the seconds-hand on the clock. She held up four fingers and began counting down. "Three…two…one-." There was a loud thud and someone scrambling.

"_IINTEEGRRAAAAAAA!!_"

"He knows," they muttered in unison. They waited the few brief seconds before the elder vampire came crashing through the office door, inflicting the same damage on it as Mina's.

"SHE'S-!"

"-Going out on a date with Quincy," she finished. "I know."

Alucard was in front of her desk in a flash, his palms slamming down on its surface. "You _knew_?!" he hissed, as if she had just admitted some horrible conspiracy.

"Yes, I knew. She asked politely and I gave her permission."

"Gave her permis-!!" He stopped short, flabbergasted and obviously angry. "And you didn't tell any of us?!"

"No," she stated. He relaxed a little. "Just you."

He tensed again, his shoulders riding high. "Well why the hell not?!" he snapped.

"Because we all knew that you would be like _this_," Walter cut in before he quickly left the room, Alucard almost literally boring holes into the butler with his eyes.

"He's exactly right," Integra stated. She stood up, looking at the clock again. "Quincy should be here any minute now." As if that were their cue, the doorbell rang and she swept around the desk to clutch Alucard's arm in a tight grip. "Let's walk _slowly_ to let him in and we'll talk about your new rules for the night." Alucard went to protest but was silenced when she put some pressure on the seals that bound them together.

"This is how it's going to go, Alucard," she began as they left the office. "You will – most importantly – not hurt the boy. You won't touch him, you won't hiss or growl at him. You will not try to scare him nor make him do anything that he would not want to do, in any shape or form." She glared at him for a second. "Are you getting this?"

"Yes," he grumbled.

"You will not smile at him in a way that would frighten him or display any of your vampire attributes. You will not toy with his mind, nor will you give him any nightmares. You **will **be polite…" Here she applied a little more pressure on the seals. "…And you will let Mina and the boy enjoy themselves in a way that **I** permit. You will not let him see your guns, you will not have Seras or Walter or anyone else do something in your stead, and you will not drink blood or even hint at the eating habits of anyone who reside in this household." She glared at him again as they headed for the door. She let go of his arm. "Did you catch all that?"

"Yes," he muttered.

"And no shape-shifting," she snapped quickly just before she opened the door. She opened it wide to reveal a teen about seventeen years old with a slightly nervous expression and a small box in hand. He had short, dark brown hair that was half wavy and half curly, and ended just beneath his earlobes. He was dressed in a dark blue button up dress shirt with a black denim jacket, scuffed jeans, and boots. He blinked his moderately wide green hazel eyes then faintly shook his head.

"Uh…Good evening. I'm Quincy. I'm here to pick up Mina." He looked at Integra. "Are you…?"

"Yes, I'm her mother," Integra replied politely, taking his hand in a firm shake. She flashed him the smallest of smiles. "Please, sir, come inside." Quincy stepped inside and the door flew out of Integra's hand, slamming shut with an ominous bang. Integra glared at Alucard over the boy's shoulder.

"And no dramatics!" she hissed just loud enough for only the vampire to hear. Alucard said and did nothing but stare at the poor, unknowing boy across the room, eyes veiled behind his sunglasses. It seemed as if the boy was refraining from gulping. Undetected to both their employer and the master vampire, Walter and Seras leaned carefully over the railing of the staircase, watching from a "safe" distance. They gave each other a look with a clear meaning.

It was going to be a _long_ night.

**Author's Note** – I know, I'm so evil leaving you hanging like this. But have no fear; this chapter will be written in two parts. This is the first obviously. I would have made it all one chapter but I knew you guys had been waiting for this one for such a long time. So I decided to update it a little bit before you totally forgot about it. I'm sorry that this is way late. My life has been really busy and I ended up starting another series. It's a little difficult to balance this one and the other three I have going. And I have ideas for another one! Gah! I know you're probably mad, but PLEASE review. Chew me out, flame me, I don't care; just please leave a fairly decent review. I'll update when I can.


	10. Chapter 10 First date pt 2

**Author's Note – **I know, I know. It's been forever since I last updated. But I've had so much going on, I haven't really been able to update. I've been dying to but couldn't find the time. As a warning, if you haven't read Dracula then you might not get the irony of the name of Mina's date. I hope you enjoy it. And please review, even if it's to flame me and what not. Disclaimer – **I do not own any of the Hellsing series in any shape or form. This fic was, is, and never will be intended to make any profit.** I just wish I had gotten Alucard for Christmas…and Valentines…

To say that sitting on the couch with a knight and a No-Life King on the opposite side was uncomfortable… would be a major understatement.

The mild anxiety – which seemed to be getting worse by the passing minutes – was written all over the boy's face. Sir Integra was beginning to really wish she had a cigar in hand – which were all waiting upstairs – and even though Alucard was obeying her strict orders, he was still coming off rather…put out. "_Put out doesn't cover it. Irate would be a more suitable word for his current foul mood_," she thought, almost counting down the seconds for Mina to rush down the stairs. Holding back an annoyed sigh she turned to the poor teenager with one of her very mild smiles.

"I don't believe we've made proper introductions. I apologize, it would be best if we became more familiar while we are waiting for our daughter." Integra held out her hand across the coffee table. "I'm Sir Integra. Please address me as such. This is Mina's father Alucard."

He took her hand and shook it firmly – though nowhere as near as firm as Integra shook his – and nodded. "Quincy, Quincy Seward, Sir. I-it's a pleasure to meet you." Out of the corner of both of theirs eyes, Integra and Quincy saw Alucard slightly stiffen and perhaps the corner of his lips twitch unpleasantly. Quincy seemed about to stretch out his hand in greeting and by reflex, but stopped and sat back down when the father slightly cocked his head to the side in something akin to annoyance and challenge.

"I apologize for his rudeness," Integra said sharply, her eyes flaring at Alucard before calming and turning to Quincy again. "I'm afraid he isn't feeling well. He gets _headaches_ occasionally…" Here she cast the vampire another glare and he flinched, ducking his head slightly as if someone where applying pressure on his skull. "…and he's had this one coming for awhile now, I believe."

"I apologize for the inconvenience," Quincy said quietly in the vampire's direction.

"Inconvenient, indeed," he growled in response, teeth gritted tightly. He earned a hardly subtle sharp heel pinned on his toes.

The poor boy eyed the odd interaction between the two before speaking again. "Not that I mean to pry but Mina didn't really say what the two of you do for a living. May I ask what?"

"Military."

"Mop-up operations to be specific," Alucard intoned quickly, avoiding eye contact with Integra.

"Oh…" Quincy attempted a humored smile. "Top secret stuff?" he joked.

"Yes, actually," Integra stated simply. Quincy's smile fell and he shifted in his seat.

After a bit more of awkward silence, the sound of steps on the stairs traveled down and Mina bounded into the room. "Hey, Quincy!" she smiled. She glanced at the other two on the couch a bit more warily. "I see you've met my parents."

"Where are you going?" Alucard asked sharply, as if questioning a prisoner for info.

"Quincy and I are going to a movie," Mina said just as sharply, Quincy rising to his feet. Then Mina continued with her voice calm and level. "It starts in about thirty minutes, and we still need to get concessions. I promise I won't be out too late." She smiled at her mother, and straining to keep it on for her father.

"I'll make sure she's back before eleven," Quincy quickly interjected, as Mina grabbed his hand.

"Very well," Integra said, now standing. "Mina, you have your phones?"

"Yes. Both the personal and the emergency."

"Good. Now run along and I forbid you to have too much fun," her mother stated with a smirk. She escorted the pair to the front door and Walter rushed down to open it for them. "Oh, and Mina," she said before they were off the steps. "Don't worry about anything. We'll all be holding down the fort while you're out." Mina nodded at the knowing look in Integra's eyes and waved.

"Thanks, Mom." Then a bit more edgily, "See you later, Dad."

Back in the parlor on the couch, glaring at the teens as they piled into Quincy's car, the vampire growled deep in his chest.

**Forty-seven seconds later **

"_Quincy __**Seward**__!!?_," he hissed, his eyes twitching, his fingers stiffly beginning to curl on the top of the coffee table, leaving long gouge marks in the process. "He's a direct descendant of that blubbering, doctor? The one that helped your grandfather _hunt_ me down like a _dog_? _**That**_ _**Seward**__??!!!_" There was another screech as his fingers curled further. "And he's named after that damn American, Quincy Morris? The one that brought a dozen Winchesters _just to __**shoot**__ me with?!!_"

"So it would seem," Integra said calmly, one eyebrow crooked at his on-going tantrum. "And who are you to judge really? Our daughter is a direct descendant, as am I, of the _head_ of that particular hunting party, and you've never complained before."

"YOU'RE NOT GETTING THE POINT!!!," he bellowed with balls of fire for eyes, lightening flashing in the room, and a huge throbbing vein on his head.

The other three – Integra, Walter and Seras – all recovered quickly from the volume of his outrage. "Alucard, I believe that you may be blowing this out of proportions just a smidge," the butler said calmly. "I mean do you honestly worry more about her with a potential companion than if say, a vampire with a dozen ghouls, were to try to get her?"

"What do you think, Walter?" the vampire grumbled back.

"Walter has a point, Master. I mean, look at how Mina's been raised. I'm afraid I can't side with you on this one."

"When do you ever agree with me, Police Girl? Hmm?" he said burning holes into her with his eyes.

Seras backed away quickly and dove behind the couch that Integra was occupying.

"And what are you smirking about, Integra?" he snapped.

"I think I know what this is about," she smiled mischievously.

"I would certainly hope so! Mina's a young woman, with not much experience, now going out on a date with that – that – that _thing_, and - !"

"- And you're absolutely scared to death that, with all of the young and innocent virgins you seduced over the past few hundred years – whispering sweet nothings into their ears so as to woo them into bed – karma is going to bite you _smartly_ in the ass." Integra's smile widened into a grin. "Am I correct, Alucard?"

Alucard stiffened in surprise, eyes wide. Then he shifted into a slouch with his arms crossed over his chest, scowling – or rather pouting. He said nothing, just glared at Integra.

"That's what I thought," she scowled back.

"It's frightening how easily you can read him like that," Seras grumbled over the back of the couch.

"Yes, it is," Walter muttered as the fiery staring matching continued between the two major powers of the household.

When they finally came to a temporary draw, Integra spoke. "You leave that girl alone, Alucard, as well as her date. They're just watching a movie and going to dinner. I gave you your orders and you damn well better follow them."

"But she - !"

"No buts!" Integra shouted. "I will not argue over this! Now go find something to do, cool off, and stop looking like you want to kill the poor boy!"

"Is that an order too?" he sneered.

Integra drew her pistol from her suit jacket and was jumping to her feet, cursing low when Alucard dissipated into shadows sinking through the floor. "I'll order you to beg for mercy if you don't listen to me," she spat, shaking her pistol and gracing a killing glance at the floor where he was seconds ago. Then she headed for the dining room, where Walter had set dinner for her and Seras.

Down in his room in the dungeons, Alucard paced at vampiric speed, leaving a hollow in the stone floor from his boots. Darting back and forth, wringing his hands until the joints creaked, he mumbled under his breath, cursing loudly. He was very, very, very frustrated. So very frustrated.

"_I don't believe in karma! I don't believe in karma! I don't believe in karma!_," he chanted in his head over and over again. He paused for a moment, and then resumed pacing again. "_No, I don't believe in karma! I don't believe in karma!! I don't believe - !_" He came to halt again when a horrid image came to mind, completely unbidden.

" '_Hey, Dad! Look!' She thrusts her arms forward with a couple of bundles in them. 'Twins! Ain't they cuuute! Karma said I had two instead of one! And its all thanks to you and Quincy! You'll love being a grandpa, I just know it!'…_"

"_Grand…pa…?_"

Alucard's eyes bulged before he planted the hells of his palms against his face, running round in speedy circles, howling and howling. "I don't wanna be a grandpa! I don't wanna be a grandpa! I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I DON'T WANNAAAAA!!!" He jumps up and begins dancing around in the seat of his chair. "I don't wanna feel OLD!!" He's practically whining by this point. He finally collapses into his chair, legs sprawled, and hands holding his face.

For a minute or two, Alucard sits there, deadly silently…then deadly scheming…and finally having a very deadly epiphany. He pulls his face out of his hands, grinning more maliciously than he has in years, an evil glint in his ruby eyes. "I found the loophole, Integra. I am NOT going to be a grandpa, after all. Ha…ha, ha…ha ha ha ha…" Soon he's laughing his old maniacal laugh. Cackling so venomously, it would give demons a chill.

"You didn't say, I couldn't _follow them_," he grinned into the dark, dissipating to find a couple of unknowing teens.

**Author's Note – **I know, I'm evil leaving you hanging again. I thought I'd hurry and update this though. I'm sorry it's so late and I'm sorry it's so short but PLEASE review. Curse me, flame me, I don't care. Just leave something. I hope you got a good laugh or at least a chuckle. And Happy Valentines!


	11. Chapter 11 First date pt 3

**Author's Note – **I am _so sorry _that I haven't updated in so long. I've been busy, but I admit, there really isn't any excuse. I may deviate from anime fics for awhile as well – Wolverine of X-Men has really caught my eye – and I have a few _slightly_ awkward crossovers in mind. Keep an eye out for those if you are interested. Anyway, here is one of the chapters you've been waiting for, for so long. Enjoy, and please review. Disclaimer – **I don't own anything but my own ideas.**

Quincy Seward drove a 2008 A5 Audi coupe, dark gray, an automatic. A decent car to say in the least. Quincy seemed proud of having earned every pound for it, and Mina rather liked the car as well. To her, it looked classy. All sleek and smooth and sweet curves. The seats were nice, and the sound system wasn't too bad. Thus, she found it a very comfortable ride.

Alucard, on the other hand, hated the car.

He had been chasing after this thing for the last half hour, irked that it was a tad difficult to keep up with the car in his current form. Dashing through trees and brush, he kept his eye on Mina through the passenger window the whole time, making sure to stay where she would hardly see him, casting a glance to the front only every now and then to keep from running into something. Alucard had been contemplating a way to find a loop in Integra's orders again so that he may ambush the car before they reached more populated areas. So far, his usual cunning couldn't help him.

"_How dare they to consent to this without me! And with that boy!_"

Alucard glared venomously at the two in the car, looking forward just in time to dodge a low hanging branch. Making sure there was nothing else in his path for awhile, he returned to watching Mina and… the _thing_. The two of them were deep in conversation, something about school if Alucard heard right. Even though they were wrapped in their talk, Quincy was still being a careful driver, not letting himself get too distracted. Somewhat of a dismay for their pursuer; had Quincy been less cautious, it could be considered putting Mina, Hellsing's heir, in danger. Which in turn would have, due to the seals, given Alucard permission to silence the little brat. Alucard was torn between hating the boy and being proud that Mina had at least chosen a competent driver.

As the vampire king continued to watch them, he began to growl as Mina began to smile. Eventually the girl began to smile even more, which turned into a grin coupled with bright laughter. Laughter Alucard had not heard in awhile. The great vampire growled and snarled, his hackles raised.

"_Why you-!_"

TWANNNG!!!

Alucard pummeled down the bank and into the road behind the Audi, his ears ringing and his head throbbing. He got up with wobbly legs, shaking off the dizziness. His tail tucked between his legs in slight shame as he noticed the road sign on the bank, which he had painfully missed before.

"_Maybe the Hellhound wasn't my best choice of pursuit…_"

The two in the car continued on, still oblivious.

**Downtown London, movie theater –**

"Alright, so what do you want to see?"

"I don't know," Mina said. She shrugged. "Surprise me, humor me."

The theater was a little packed that night, bustling as movie-goers filed for concessions. Butter, salt, melting chocolate and spilt soda permeated the air. There were six movies playing, all of which would start soon. And a No-Life King – now in what he believed to be a better disguise – was watching carefully. So a choice would have to be quickly made.

"Okay. Let's see…" Quincy looked over the titles for a moment as they stood in front of the counter. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully, laughed, then shrugged. "Why not?" he said more to himself and purchased two tickets. Alucard, wondering what type of sick perverted movie his poor daughter was about to be exposed to, tried to move about so as not to be seen.

"_Damn it all. It's so cramped in here! If I could just stretch my limbs a little…_"

Quincy handed a ticket to Mina as he prepared his money for concessions. She took one look at the ticket and snorted, putting a hand over her mouth. Apparently she was trying not to laugh.

"What?" Quincy asked with a small frown.

"Oh, nothing."

"_Yeah right,_" Alucard mentally scowled, still trying to catch sight of the ticket.

"C'mon, tell me."

Mina shook her head as she asked for a large popcorn and medium soda. Quincy slid the money onto the counter for the cashier, pressing Mina on to tell him. She shook her head again as they headed for the fourth theater. "Well…Let's just say that your movie choice is ironic, and we'll leave it at that."

Alucard had to refrain from nibbling on something, still failing to catch sight of the title. "_Ironic? What are they going to see?!_" The two teenagers slipped passed through a door and he had to dart and squeeze through to keep an eye on them. The lights had just dimmed as they found their seats, sliding past other people's knees with apologies. The vampire found a place to perch, a good place on the wall where he could be almost directly above them, and therefore not miss a thing. Who knew where that boy would put his hands…?

Alucard shook his head. No one had their ticket out, to his disappointment. "_What did she mean ironic?,_" Alucard thought as he waited for the previews to finish and keeping a bright red eye right on the poor unsuspecting boy. "_The only film I can think of she would call ironic would have to be…_" He stopped short as dark, foreboding music played from the speakers and one bold title in maroon appeared on the screen.

"**Dracula; the Novel**"

"_Oh God, __**NO**_." Alucard hung his head and kept from face palming. "Great," he grumbled very quietly. "Just great." He sighed. "_I can do this. I can watch another version of this damn story…another one…another misconstrued and highly inaccurate…_" He almost shuddered with disgust. "_For Mina's sake! I have to do it for Mina's sake. Speaking of that little hell-girl…_" Alucard returned his attention to the two almost directly below him as they began speaking again, only very quietly for the rest of the audience not to hear.

"So why is this ironic?," Quincy asked, glancing between Mina and the screen.

Mina chewed and swallowed a mouthful of popcorn and glanced back between him and the screen as well. "It's ironic for three reasons. The first has to do with my family."

"You mean Hellsing?"

"Yep. Another one person in my family has a name from this story but it's a sort of secret, so we won't go there."

"Well I feel for you," Quincy said. "I mean I'm named after one of the characters. The American, you remember him?"

"Yes. I'm named after one, too."

"Wait, so your first name…?"

"That's right. It's Wilhelmina. I was actually named after that character." She pointed to a long-haired woman on the screen. "I guess you could say that my parents sort of relate to her. It's complicated."

"It's funny. My grandfather was actually talking about your family before I went to pick you up. He's quiet old and he lives with my parents and I. He's a good guy, wise and all. But he went through some sort of hard times when he was younger. He won't talk about it."

"Really?," Mina pressed with a small smile. "So what did he say? He mentioned my family?"

"_This should be interesting_," Alucard thought with a slight scoff. "_Let's see what that pathetic doctor has been up to._"

"Well I mentioned your last name and he got all excited. He said he knew your great-grandfather or something. It was all about the 'brilliant but dangerous family' and how your predecessor was a good friend of his, and so on."

"'Brilliant but dangerous family' huh?"

"I know it sounds bad, but he means well. And he kept going on about how your family's got 'terrible secrets' and that there were things in your house that 'should never see the light of day'." Quincy shrugged. "He's just old." He leaned in a little closer to her – which, of course, certainly did _not_ go unnoticed by Alucard – and lowered his voice a little more. "He's got this weird idea that him and your great-grandfather were…well…" He looked at the screen then her.

"He thinks that this is a true story and we're the descendants of vampire hunters," she finished for him with a tiny smirk.

"Yeah," he whispered sheepishly. "But I think he's just starting to go senile."

"_Oh you have no idea, boy. If you only knew the raw vastness of the truth that your grandfather possesses…!_" The music hinted at suspense on screen and the two of them turned back to the movie. Alucard sighed, thankful that the actor of the title character – for once – had the perfect Transylvanian innotation instead of butchering it, and kept an eye on the two below.

**An hour-and-a-half later – **

Alucard was doing all he could from giving away his position by banging his head firmly on the wall. The movie – though the closest adaption he had been exposed to yet – was still dreadful. It was still a bit corny and inaccurate, and to make matters worse, a young blond and her boyfriend right below him were sloppily making out…during a bloody scene.

"_Will the torture never end?_," he practically whined in his head. He happily turned his eyes from the screen to peer down at the younger couple. His ears pricked as Mina tapped the boy on the shoulder, clearly wanting to talk. Quincy turned to her.

"I'm curious. What your grandfather said…?"

"Yes?"

She smiled a little. "Do you think _I'm_ dangerous?"

Alucard blinked. He shook his head. They weren't. They wouldn't dare…!

Quincy slightly smirked. "That depends, I guess. _Are_ you dangerous?"

Mina's smile turned slightly coy. "Maybe." Quincy smirked a little more as they stared at each other. "What's it mean to you?"

Alucard twitched a little, making small choking noises. They were! They were _flirting_! And she had been the one to engage it! He couldn't believe it! It wasn't possible! It was _wrong_!

"Oh my God!"

Alucard looked down at the snogging couple below him. Only the blonde wasn't snogging with her date anymore. Instead she was looking right at him. Apparently his choking noises hadn't been as quiet as he had hoped. He could tell, just by looking at her what was to come.

"_No! No! Don't!_"

She did. The blonde pointed right at him and screeched. "Oh my God! A BAT! Oh my God, there's a real bat in here!!"

"_No, you stupid broad!_," he thought, flapping his wings at her as the audience turned in her direction to follow her pointing finger. "Shut up! Shut UP! SILENCE!," he hissed at her.

It was too late. The crowd had turned to see the giant black bat, hissing and flapping its great wings from its perch on the speaker on the wall.

"Wow, he's a big old sucker, isn't he?," Quincy exclaimed.

Alucard dared to look at the two he had followed. He wished he hadn't. Mina had her eyes on him and obviously had recognized him immediately. Her face was in the exact same furious expression that Integra wore when she was having an absolute bitch fit.

"You!," she growled through tightly gritted teeth, only loud enough for her father to hear. Her fingers were leaving dents on the back of the seat. Very big dents.

"_Uh-oh…_"

Alucard turned to glance for an exit when an usher came in, heading for his speaker – with a big broom in hand. "_Aww c'mon! Now I have mere mortals trying to beat me with cleaning devices!_" He hissed at the usher and flitted about, trying to intimidate him. And failing. Not wanting to waste time to get back to HQ – specifically before Mina alerted her mother of his whereabouts – Alucard flitted down and away from the broom. He scrambled his gaze about to find an exit.

"_Alright, where is it? There's supposed to be at least three exits in this place! It's their policy, isn't it?!_"

He looked about but couldn't find the bloody door. "Give me that!," a familiar voice yelled behind him. He blinked and paused in confusion.

"_Give her what?_"

Alucard whipped around. Mina was running right at him, her eyes glowing behind the veil of her dark hair. He only barely had enough time to give a very loud screech as Mina brought down the broom upon his head with the severity of an enraged samurai master, yelling with rage.

Mina let the giant bat plummet to the floor, letting it sit just long enough for her to aim. Then like a pro golfer, she swung the broom again, sending him flying to make a sound smack against the screen. For a moment it appeared as if the bat was stuck up Renfield's nose before almost lifelessly dropping to the floor with a thud.

She panted, still holding the broom like a sword before finally noticing Quincy's staring. As well as the rest of the crowd. She lowered the broom and – knowing her eyes were back to normal – blew her hair out of her face. Quincy came up behind her.

"You are dangerous, aren't you?," he whispered.

"I," she announced for everyone to hear. "Just don't like really big bats." There was a pause as the audience continued to stare with a WTF? look. "Here," she said as handed the broom back to the usher, and grabbed what was left of their popcorn.

"Let's head home," Quincy muttered.

"Yes, _please_."

**Fifteen minutes later** –

Alucard rubbed his poor, sore head, which still hadn't quiet quit throbbing. "Damn you and your sword lessons, Integra," he grumbled as he walked through the wall into the mansion. "She wasn't supposed to use that sort of thing on me."

"Who says?"

Alucard looked up to see Mina sitting on the arm of the couch and leaning against the wall…

"Evening, Integra?"

He felt unsure of this. There was an uncanny deviant glint in Mina's eyes, though she wore no expression at all. And what light there was, was glinting on Integra's glasses, making her eyes invincible to him. Walter and Seras standing nearby looked…nervous. Quiet nervous.

"Er…Integra?"

"Do you know what is driving me absolutely driving me up the wall, Alucard? Do you know what is driving me insane? Mad as a hatter? Hm?" She was approaching him with slow steps. She seemed calm, that she would simply yell at him but he wasn't sure.

"I suppose I have a guess," he muttered.

In a flash, Integra literally pounced on him, wrapping her legs around his waist and planting both of her hands around his neck with a death grip, so tightly that her fingers were crossing together.

"I'M GETTING BLOODY SICK OF YOU FINDING EVERY SINGLE LITTLE LOOPHOLE IN MY ORDERS, EVERY SINGLE BLOODY CHANCE YOU GET!" She then proceeded to spout a flood of profanities, and shake his head so violently that his head was nothing but a blur of white, red and black.

Walter and Seras both turned to Mina who was standing calmly a mere few feet away from the scene. Her face seemed tranquil, not a care in the world. It was eerie.

"Aren't you still mad?," Seras asked.

"Oh yes," she replied with a smile. Then her posture changed along with her expression, her eyes beginning to glow red again, her teeth elongating. She looked like a madwoman. "But watching Mommy choke Daddy like this _always_ makes me _happy_," she said, growling the last word. Seras and Walter began to twitch nervously as Mina giggled quietly and wickedly.

"Is it me or…does she look _black_?," Seras hissed.

"Just back away…very…_slowly_," Walter murmured, Mina still cackling and Integra still trying to detach Alucard's head.

**Author's Note – **There, I finally updated this one. Once again, I'm so sorry. Hopefully this was good enough. Please, even if it's to throw profanities at me like Integra is with Alucard right now, leave me a review so I know what you think.


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